Still alive and still writing

Hello all,

I, first of all, must say that I know it's been a LONG time since I updated this story and for that, I'm so incredibly sorry.

Over the past 4 months, my life hasn't really given me the opportunity to sit, think and write. There was a death in the family, an end of a very important relationship, someone hacked into my computer and erased the entire hard drive, home renovations and I could go on. However, it has been brought to my attention that people don't really care why the chapters aren't being posted, and look at any rational as excuses for being lazy and just not writing. I just wanted to say, if that's what you've though, it wasn't my intention to leave you hanging and leave you to thinking that I don't care about this story anymore and am letting it drop.

I AM NOT QUITING THIS STORY!!

Secondly, I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who's been checking in on me and asking when the update is coming. It's good to know that people still care about my little story.

And third, the next chapter is not done yet. Sorry. However, I have found some time in my schedule and am currently working on it and should (hopefully) have it up by next week. No promises though. As you've probably noticed, life doesn't always go as I'd like. I have decided that I'm going to write a couple chapters, and then post them so that we don't get stuck in this type of void again.

Again, I'm so sorry for the delay and am doing what I can to get these chapters up.

~JustTry

Chapter update

Hello all,

Just wanted to give everyone an update on the chapter.

Unfortunately, due to a death in the family and consistent home renovations, I haven't even started this chapter yet. I do, however, have the outline complete and simply need to put the points together.

Thanks everyone for standing by the story

Chapter 26

Hello all, 

Again, a million apologies for the delay in this chapter. But holy hell, what a month.

Thanks to everyone who has stood by me and left me reviews along the way. Your words mean more than you know. As always, mega thanks to luckiestar1012 and Snowball Sniper for the pre-reads and edits. 

This chapter needed a lot of work, and I'm still not happy with it, but I couldn't keep you guys waiting any longer. 


So, here it is. CH 26 and the outfits

Chapter 26 text

Wednesday July 28

What a day.

I woke up alone, Edward had to pull another 28 hour shift, and my class had been tedious. It was exceedingly hot in the classroom and the kids were stressed out with their final. On top of that, I couldn’t get Edward’s story about Tanya out of my head.

Even though it was hard to hear how he was in love with someone else, who he still incidentally saw, and hear how he still partly blamed himself for Kate’s death and Tanya’s attempted suicide, it was good to know that he was fallible. He opened up to me; let me see the raw Edward, faults and all. And, in a way, him telling me how he didn’t feel good enough for Tanya made me realize that he understood how I was feeling. When he said he loved me, he understood that it was hard for me to hear, but he knew that I needed to hear it anyway, because I was good enough for him, faults and all.

But ever since I got home from work, I had been warring with myself. I sat on the side of the bed, clutching Edward’s letter in my left hand and my phone in my right. I dropped the phone beside me and re-read the letter that was left on his pillow this morning.

Good morning, love,

I hate leaving you when you’re asleep, but I can’t bare to wake you up when you look so peaceful.  I don’t think I’ll ever get used to leaving you in the morning.

I’ll be home from work tomorrow around noon.

Thanks for listening to me yesterday.

I love you.

~E

I closed my eyes and let his words give me strength. Home. He said he’d be home after work. He thinks of my house as home. That simple thought gave me the strength I needed to pick the phone up again. I dialed the number without another thought and waited as the ringing began.

“Hello?”

The sound of this voice sent a shot of anger and trepidation through me. It I hadn’t spoken to Charlie in almost two weeks and I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk to him. After our last phone call, I didn’t know how long it would be before I’d be able to talk to Charlie him again. But after Edward’s story of Tanya, I realized that I shouldn’t hold stuff in anymore. If I had something to say, I should say it. And I most definitely had some things I needed to say to Charlie.

“Hi, Charlie.”

“Hi, Bells. What’s new?” I could hear the indifference in his voice, as well as the baseball game in the background, and it only reminded me further of the last conversation we had. “Well, come on Bella. SuperDoc sounds too good to be true. And let’s be honest, you don’t really have that much experience dating and haven’t really been attracting the attention of the opposite sex for quite a while. It’s just hard to believe that this amazing man would just pop into your life like that…”

Just the thought of what he had said that day made me want to scream at him, yell at him and tell him how much our last conversation had hurt me. But I decided to be more diplomatic and just be calm, but honest.

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about our last conver-“

“Oh, Bells! Do I have news for you!” Charlie interrupted me, as if I hadn’t been talking at all. “I was talking to Billy a couple of days ago and he told me that Jake’s getting married! Apparently, on Saturday night, he took Vanessa to First Beach and proposed at sunset.”

“Dad!” I interrupted as he continued to gush about Jacob. I tried to ignore the topic so that I could get what was on my mind out but I knew that as soon as I would be off the phone, it would come back and kick me in the butt.

Charlie stopped his diatribe and was silent on the other end.

“Dad, I need to tell you something.” I paused to take a much needed breath in order to try and calm my nerves before I continued. “What you said to me last time we talked really upset me.”

“Sorry, Bells, but I don’t know what you’re talking about. What did we talk about on Sunday?”

I couldn’t believe it. He didn’t even realize it had been over a week since we talked. He honestly thought that we had talked three days ago. If I ever needed a reminder of how unimportant I was to my own father, there it was.

“Charlie, we didn’t talk on Sunday. We haven’t spoke in a week and a half. Didn’t you wonder why I didn’t call you last week?”

“Sorry, Bells. I guess I didn’t notice with all the wedding news and all. Jake is so excited. He and Vanessa want to get married before the summer’s over. Billy asked if I could help because Vanessa’s family is from Chicago and her parents can’t come down to help plan everything. I think they’re wanting to get married this soon because there might be a little Jacob on the way…” I could hear the smile in Charlie’s voice as he carried on, sounding like a proud father.

“Listen, Charlie.” I interrupted him, forcing myself to tell him why I called before I once again hung up on him. It looked like this was going to be the final straw.  I would have to stop checking in every week if this is what the conversations were going to be like.

“I called to tell you how upset our last conversation made me and ironically, this conversation isn’t going any better. I just wanted to tell you that although you might not believe that I found someone and that I’m happy…” I had to pause because it was the first time in a long time that I actually was happy. “Edward and I are happy together, Dad. I’m sorry that you have no faith in me and don’t believe that someone would want to be with me, but I love him and he loves me.”

I was getting angrier and more flustered. I had never stood up to Charlie before and I was speaking without thinking. I was getting off topic. I had to end this call before I said someone I couldn’t take back.

“I just wanted to call and tell you that I was really hurt that you dismissed me with everything that I had told you, and choose to gush over Jake instead. And if today’s call is any indication of further conversations, then this will be my last weekly call to you. Tell Jake congratulations. It’s too bad you’re not as happy for your own child, as you are of someone else’s.”

And with that, I hung up the phone and threw it on my bed. I was fighting back tears, but refused to let them fall. I had finally stood up to my father and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest.

But, as with everything, with good came the bad. Jacob was engaged. The man who told me that I was the only person he could see himself spending the rest of his life with, was getting married to a girl he’d known for only three months.

My heart was breaking and although I loved Edward, a part of me still clung to Jake. I didn’t know if it was because I was never good enough for him and was still seeking his approval, or if it was because you never forget you first love. Whatever the reason, I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. I could, however, stop them from ruining my day.

Instead of letting myself get emotional and sad over Jake’s engagement, I got angry. I was angry with myself for allowing him to still have this hold over me. We weren’t even talking or living in the same town, but somehow, he still managed to affect me.

Without further thought, I picked my phone back up and made my way downstairs. I grabbed my flip-flops, my purse and keys and left the house. I got in my truck and just started to drive.

I ended up at Alice’s house, gathered her mail, and let myself in. This time, the presents around the house didn’t make me sad, they infuriated me. I watered her plants and left before I took my anger out on her gifts. I was so livid that I had no control over my own emotions. And it was in that moment that I realized that I was looking forward to Friday, my first appointment with James. Hopefully, with his help, I would regain control over myself.

I left Alice’s place and continued to drive aimlessly, finally ending up at an unknown destination.

I put my truck in park, kicked off my sandals and walked along the grass at Madison Beach. It was where Edward had taken me the day after the initial dreaded conversation with Charlie. I sat on the grass, regretting not changing out of my white pants after work, and just stared out onto the water.

Jacob was getting married.

The thought kept running through my head until, ultimately, a single tear trickled down my cheek. It was the only tear I let myself cry for my old self. I wasn’t with Jacob anymore, he didn’t love me. I was with Edward, and he did love me. I need to focus on that. I was happy, although I was still broken. I needed to focus on that. Jacob was the one who broke me while Edward was the one trying to put me back together. I owed it to Edward to forget about Jake and move on, to love him with me whole heart. It wasn’t fair to him to be broken up over my ex’s engagement. I needed to move forward and leave Jake behind.

I sat at the beach for about an hour before my phone rang, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Hello?” I answered without even looking at the caller ID.

“Hello, love.” I could hear the smile in Edward’s voice and it immediately brought a smile to my face for the first time that day. “How’s your day going?”

 “Things are okay. I called Charlie today to tell him how upset I was about out last conversation. Needless to say, he didn’t even remember the last time I called or what we talked about. I realized that talking to Charlie is just making me upset and frustrated, so I don’t think I’ll be calling him anymore.” I felt horrible about it but I had to lie to Edward. I didn’t tell him about the whole Jake situation and the truth about why I was so angry with Charlie.

“Bella, I’m sorry. I know that you don’t talk to your mom and Charlie is the only real family you have. But I’m proud of you. It must have taken a lot of guts to call Charlie and stand up to him.”

“Ya, it felt good to stand up to him, but at the same time, if I hadn’t said anything, I might still have a relationship with my father.”

“Bella, you still have a relationship with your father. Just because it’s a shitty relationship, doesn’t mean he’s not still your dad.”

“I know.” I realized that Edward’s words were true, that although I didn’t want to talk to Charlie anymore, didn’t mean that he wasn’t still my father. “But enough about me, how’s your day going?”

There was a pause before Edward tentatively spoke.

“My day’s been really good actually, but I don’t want to rub my happiness in your face. We can talk about it later.”

“Edward, please. I’ll take your good news over my sullied phone call. What made it so good?”

“Well…” I could hear the smile return to Edward’s voice before he continued. “I didn’t want to tell you just in case it didn’t pull through, but Marcus called me into his office today. We had been talking a bit when I got back from the conference about my position at the hospital. He was impressed by what I learned at the conference and my work in the therapy department and he tentatively offered me a full time position. We were waiting to hear from Aro, who’s the Chief of Staff, to give his okay and we got the word today. As of Monday, I’ll be full time in the musical therapy department. That means no more jumping back and forth when each unit needed me, no more dealing with life and death in the ER, no more working ungodly shifts, and no more leaving you in the middle of the night to go to work.  As of Monday, I’m an 8-6, Monday to Friday guy.”

The joy and excitement in Edward’s voice literally brought me to my feet. I was so excited that I’d have my Edward full time that I got in my truck and headed to the hospital, still on the phone and still without shoes on.

“Edward.” I breathed out on a sigh of relief. “I’m so happy for you. This is huge.”

“I know.” Edward let out a small laugh. I had never heard him so giddy. He sounded like a kid who found out he’s going to Disneyworld. “We have to celebrate.”

“Well,” I hedged, “are you on a break?”

“There’s no real breaks in the ER, love. But yes, I guess. It’s been slow today so they pulled me into the meeting with Aro and Marcus and I’m just having a short lunch before I head back to check on some of the patients. Why?”

“Because I’m on my way to the hospital as we speak.”

Edward and I were all smiles as we planned on where to meet. He stayed on the phone with me until I was at the hospital, directing me through the halls until I got to the ER unit where he was waiting for me at the nurses station. Once we saw each other, we ended the call to each other and literally ran into each other’s arms.

“I’m so proud of you.” I whispered into his neck and Edward’s arms encircled me tightly to his chest. He pulled back and planted a deep and meaningful kiss on my lips, right in the middle of the hallway, in front of the doctors, nurses and patients.

Although today had been filled with sadness, anger and pain, it was the first day in years where I could openly say that I was happy. And it was all thanks to Edward.

CH 26 teaser

Hello all, 

I can't believe people are still reading this story. I am sooo sorry for the constant delays in updating. It looks like I'm posting about once a month and I HATE that. I just don't have the time or the brain power to post sooner. So sorry. As an apology, here's 2 teasers for the next chapter. 

~~~

Ever since I got home from work, I had been warring with myself. I sat on the side of the bed, clutching Edward’s letter in my left hand and my phone in my right. I dropped the phone beside me and re-read the letter that was left on his pillow this morning.

Good morning, Love,

I hate leaving you when you’re asleep, but I can’t bare to wake you up when you look so peaceful.  I don’t think I’ll ever get used to leaving you in the morning.

I’ll be home from work tomorrow around noon.

Thanks for listening to me yesterday.

I love you.

~E

I closed my eyes and let his words give me strength. Home. He said he’d be home after work. He thinks of my house as home. That simple thought gave me the strength I needed to pick the phone back up. I dialed the number without any thought and waiting as the ringing began.

“Hello?”

~~~

I put my truck in park, kicked off my sandals and walked along the grass at Madison Beach. It was where Edward had taken me the day after the initial dreaded conversation with Charlie. I sat on the grass, regretting not changing out of my white pants after work, and just stared out onto the water.

Jacob was getting married.

CH 25

Tuesday July 27

Hello all.

A million apologies for the delay in this chapter. As some of you know, my computer was hacked into and my hard-drive was erased. Needless to say, I was very upset, lost some of my files and had to re-start this chapter. ARG!!!!

However, this is the chapter that you’ve all been waiting for: Edward’s story.

As always, mega-huge thanks to luckiestar1012 and Snowball Sniper for the pre-reads and edits.

Thanks to all for you constant support. Your comments are the reason I keep writing. Here's CH 25 and the outfits.

Chapter 25

Edward and I spoke all night about what I should expect when I met with James, or Dr. Whylder, as he was more appropriately called. Edward agreed to come with me to my meeting, but insisted that he sit in the waiting room as this was something I needed to do on my own. 

I spend the entire class thinking and stressing over what Edward had told me about dysthymia. Instead of teaching and helping my students with their final projects, I thought about all the symptoms that I had: sad mood, difficulty sleeping, feelings of worthlessness, feelings of hopelessness, thoughts of suicide, anxiety, difficulty being motivated, loss of interest in things that I used to enjoy, and being fearful of rejection.

It was hard for me to accept this diagnosis and get away from the ‘this is just how I am’ mentality. I had been this way for so long, that I honestly couldn’t tell when it all started. But, as Edward explained, that was a key factor in the difference between dysthymia and ‘regular’ depression. It wasn’t just a bout of depression here and there; people lived that way for years. A minimum of two years, Edward had stated, with no more than a two months period without symptoms. 

It tore me a little inside to finally come to the realization that there was something wrong with me. I had always known that there was something about me that wasn’t right but now there was actual medical proof that I was broken.

I spent the entire day in class and the drive home holding back tears. My anxiety was high but my hopelessness was almost numbing.

As I opened my front door and threw my keys on the table, I just wanted to crash to the floor and let everything out. I had been trying so hard to hold it together in class that I was almost dead on my feet. The stress had taken every ounce of energy I had.

“Bella?”

My route to the couch was re-directed at the sound of Edward’s voice. I made my way to the back door to find Edward sitting on a plaid blanket in the middle of the backyard and to the side I heard the sizzle of the BBQ. On closer inspection, I saw chicken wings browning on the grill.

“What’s all this?” I asked, as I picked up a carrot stick off a veggie platter sitting on my patio table.

“I thought we could have a picnic lunch.” The smile that grew across Edward’s face was so warm and caring. I looked around me in awe as I saw everything that he had gotten ready.

There was a veggie and fruit tray on the table, as well as pasta salad and a pitcher of punch. The chicken wings were cooking on the grill and looked like they were done.

“This is…wow.” I couldn’t believe everything that he had done. I looked up to meet his shining eyes as he patted the blanket beside him.

“Bella,” Edward started as I sat down beside him, “I want to talk to you about something.”

I sat cross-legged in front of Edward as he took a deep breath and began. Suddenly, my heart was pounding. If Edward’s nervous, this can’t be good.

“Yesterday when you told me that you loved me, it got me thinking.” Edward paused as he reached out and entwined my fingers with his.

“I haven’t been totally honest with you, Bella. There are things about my past that you should know.  If you truly do love me, I want you to love the good as well as the not so good.”

“Edward, what do you mean the ‘not so good’? Of course I love you.”

Edward opened and closed his mouth a couple times before he closed his eyes. It was only for a beat, but I could tell that he needed to prepare himself for what he was going to tell me.

“When I was in my second year of college,” he began, opening his eyes and slowly meeting my gaze, “I met a woman named Tanya. We were complete opposites, but I fell in love. We were together the whole time we were in school and by the time we started our final year together, I was ready to settle down. Tanya, however, just wanted us to be together and have fun. She was so driven and focused on her education and future career, and I admired her for it. We studied together and helped each other push farther and harder to further our education and career goals.

“She was the type of person who knew what she wanted and went for it. So, taking a page from her book, I bought her an engagement ring and proposed the day of our graduation, even though I knew how she felt about marriage. She was resistant to tying our lives together and that was hard for me to accept, but we agreed not to get married until after med school so that we could both focus on the job.

“Three months into our residency, Tanya found out that her twin sister Kate was killed in a car accident. After that, she was never the same. She became cold, distant, and incredibly fierce. Everyone told her to take time off, grieve and get better, but she refused. She pushed herself harder, spending nights at the hospital, working herself ragged. Whenever someone tried to talk to her or tried to help her, she verbally attacked them. She had tuned out everyone in her life, her parents, her friends, and me.

“After that, she stopped talking to me, stopped confiding in me. We stopped being intimate with each other, stopped holding hands, hugging, kissing. From then on, she didn’t need me, and never shared anything with me. As stupid as it sounds, I didn’t feel like a partner anymore. I didn’t feel like the man in the relationship; I wasn’t able to comfort her, help her or give her advice. She never wanted to hear it and never asked for it. She was cold, heartless.

“I fought with myself for a long time. I didn’t want to give up on her when she was hurting, but by this point, we weren’t even sharing a bed anymore. She had moved all her stuff into the guest room.

“Tanya eventually moved out. I came home one day, all her stuff was moved out and her engagement ring was sitting on the kitchen table, a letter lying underneath. It explained how she was finally admitting that it wasn’t working out between us and that our relationship was over. She had changed too much since Kate’s death and staying with me reminded her of who she was, not who she had grown to be. 

“It took me a long time to stop blaming myself. Did I try hard enough? Did I show her how much I loved her enough? Did I hold her enough, comfort her enough? Was I understanding enough? I spent months analyzing every aspect of our relationship to see if I was enough for her. I finally realized that I wasn’t, that I couldn’t have done more, I couldn’t have fought more and held on tighter. I could have been there, even when she said she didn’t need it. But I wasn’t.

“I don’t blame myself anymore for her leaving, but I still can’t deny the fact that I could have done more for her.”

Edward paused his story. He looked down and squeezed my hands. I wanted to badly to say something to him, to encourage him, to tell him that he didn’t need to tell me the rest of the story. But I knew that he was telling me this for a reason, that he needed to get it out and that I needed to know all this. So instead of saying anything, I simply squeezed his hands in return.

“I found out later that Tanya had fallen into a deep depression and tried to commit suicide on the anniversary of Kate’s death. Her parents found her passed out in her living room, overdosed on meds from the hospital. They rushed her to the ER where I was working and I had to pump her stomach and admit her to the psyche ward.

“It’s been two years and she’s still there. I go up to visit her sometimes but she’s not the same. She’s been blaming herself for everything after she found out that when Kate got in the accident, she was on her way to the hospital to visit Tanya. Her and Kate hadn’t talked in a long time and every time Kate would call, Tanya would tell her that she didn’t have time to talk and would call her back. But Tanya never did.”

Edward stared deeply into my eyes as he gently cupped my cheeks.

“I know how you feel, Bella, never feeling good enough. I never felt good enough for Tanya. I still feel like I could have done more, been more for her, but it’s too late. I saw the signs but I did nothing. I stayed completely silent when I should have fought more. I ended up having a part to play in Kate’s death and Tanya’s attempted suicide. I could have pushed Tanya to slow down and call Kate back. I could have talk to the hospital and insist that they make Tanya take time off to grieve.

“When the ambulance brought Tanya in and I had to pump her stomach, I swore to myself that I would never put myself into that situation again. I would never hide what I thought or how I felt about anyone ever again. I saw Tanya start to struggle with her emotions, shutting everyone out, distancing herself from friends and family. I should have stepped in then but I didn’t.”

Edward wiped away a tear that I didn’t even know was trailing down my cheek and pulled me into his arms.

“I never want you to feel like you’re not good enough for me, or that there isn’t anything in you to love. I love you, Bella. The good and the not so good.”

Edward and I lay on the picnic blanket wrapped in each other’s arms for what seemed like hours. We were consoling each other and in a way, finally coming to terms and accepting our own faults.

“I love you, too, Edward.” I whispered after a time.

Edward and I remained quiet, we simply held each other in silence. It wasn’t until I felt Edward take in a deep breath that the silence and peace was broken.

“Bella?” he asked, with uncertainty in his voice.

“Yes?”

“I’m sorry.” I was about to ask him what he was apologizing for, but he quickly continued. “You have been honest with me from the very beginning and I haven’t returned the favor. I’m sorry that I wasn’t as open about my past as you. So…” he paused as he sat up and pulled me with him, “today I thought we could spend the afternoon eating and talking. I thought that something stupid like 20 questions could be fun.”

I had to smile at his idea. Only he would make an interrogation into a game for me. “I like that idea,” I said as I immediately thought of questions to ask him.

“Good!” Edward had a huge smile on his face as he stood up and went back to the deck. He loaded a tray with plates and napkins, the drinks and all the food. In no time, he was setting everything out on the blanket and sitting across from me.

“Alright, love,” he started with a smile, “pick your food and pick your first question.”

We both dug into the smorgasbord before us and loaded up our plates. We were ready to begin.

“Okay, Bella. Question number 1?”

It was hard to think of the first question that I wanted to ask him. There was so much I still wanted to know. But for now, I thought it better to start off on a lighter note and progressively get heavier.

“Favorite color.” I purposely said it as a statement instead of a question.

“Brown.” His answer was so immediate, it took me by surprise.

“Okay, pause for a second.” Was he serious? Brown? “Am I allowed to ask you to elaborate or will that count as another question?”

A sinister laugh left Edward’s mouth and I instantly knew my answer.  “You want deeper answers, you must ask deeper questions.”

We narrowed our eyes at each other before we both started to laugh. Fine, he wants deeper questions? I’ll give him deeper questions.

“Fine than, why is brown your favorite color?”

Edward smirked but his face took on a serene look right before he answered. “Because it’s the colour of your eyes.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to ask him if he was serious, but the innocent look on his face hadn’t left after he spoke. Could that REALLY be the reason his favourite colour is brown?

I let his answer drop, afraid to push it in case that wasn’t the real answer. I decided to move onto the next question, making it another simple one.

“When is your birthday?”

“June 20^th.”

“What is your favourite song?”

“Claire du Lune.”

“Favourite food?”

“Grilled cheese.”

I continued to ask Edward simple questions, learning basic information about him, progressively making the questions more substantial. I asked about his favourite book, his favourite movie, where he has traveled, what languages he knows, what he used to do in his free time before he met me and why he chose musical therapy as a career.

Finally, I had summoned up the courage to ask the questions that I really wanted to know.

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

Edward and I were still sitting together on the blanket, snacking on the picnic that he put together. But once I asked the question, Edward put down his plate and devoted all his attention to me.

“Are you sure you want to know about this?” Edward was sincere in his question, which made me believe it was a story that I didn’t really want to hear. But I nodded anyway, knowing that although I didn’t want to hear the story, it was something I needed to know.

“I was 15 years old and had been dating this girl, Sarah, for about three weeks. We were at her parent’s house one weekend when they were away. It just kinda happened. I had wanted to wait, but Sarah didn’t. She said she was in love with me and that it was the perfect time because her parents were gone. I felt horrible; I didn’t love her back, but went along with what she wanted anyway. I didn’t want her to feel rejected after she had just told me she loved me. It was over in about five minutes and she broke up with me four days later.”

That was almost the saddest story I had ever heard. My sweet Edward had been pressured into losing his virginity so someone else wouldn’t be hurt. I leaned forward and pulled Edward into my arms.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered to him. “I’m sorry you felt pressured like that.”

Edward placed a soft kiss on my left shoulder before he pulled back to look me in the eyes.

“It’s okay, love. I don’t regret it. I was a 15 year old boy having sex. At the time, it was the greatest moment of my life, even if I didn’t love Sarah.”

I laughed a little at his comment, realizing how true it was. Even if the situation wasn’t ideal, he was a teenage boy getting lucky. He couldn’t have been suffering too badly.

Edward and I continued our game until my twenty questions were up and the sky was getting dark. We cleaned up the remains of the picnic and headed inside, where Edward proceeded to ask me the same twenty questions I had asked him. This went on for the remainder of the night. 

It had been difficult answering some of the questions that I had asked Edward, especially the question of my favourite childhood memory. Although I had lots of memories to choose from, thoughts of Jacob and my parent’s divorce seemed to taint them all.

Edward and I ended up finishing our game in bed, wrapped in each other’s arms. And even though I fell asleep at question 17, I slept with a lightened heart and a smile on my face, knowing the man sleeping beside me just a little bit better.

IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, my friends, I FINALLY got my computer back and it is in fact alive and kicking. I spent 8 hours yesterday trying to re-download everything I originally had on it, re-format it all and back it up. But, it's here. So...needless to day, I'll be re-writing my lost section of CH 25 and hopefully get it posted soon.

For all those Canadians out there



HAPPY CANADA DAY




~JustTry