CH 14

Hello lovlies,

Here's the next chapter of our little story. I'm blown away by the reception of last chapter. It seems like you all like how Bella finally opened up to Edward a little bit. This will be happening a lot more from now on. Not always as obviously as in the last chapter, but Bella will be opening up.

So here you go, the chapter, the outfits and the extras.

Enjoy!

~JustTry

CH 14 text

Friday, July 16th

It was the night from hell and I didn’t understand why. Whenever I slept in Edward’s arms, I slept soundly, comfortably throughout the entire night, but last night, I tossed and turned, had glimpses of bad dreams and woke up in a sweat. However, that wasn’t the only thing that had disturbed me. I woke up to an empty bed.

The early morning light from outside was filtering through my bedroom window, encompassing the room in a soft glow. I turned onto my left side and then my right, searching my bed for any sign of Edward, but there was none. I laid still with my eyes pressed closed, listening for any sign of life in my home. Maybe he’s just in the bathroom. It was deadly silent. Well, there you have it. He ran. Apparently I didn’t mean that much if he skulked out in the middle of the night.

I perched myself on my left elbow to see what time shone on my clock, but the bright red glowing lights were obscured by a folded piece of paper. With anxious hands, I clicked on my bedside lamp and grabbed the letter.

“Sleeping Beauty” was scrawled across the front in his elegant handwriting. I slowly leaned back against my headboard and flipped open the folded piece of paper.

Good morning, beautiful.

I’m so sorry that I won’t be there when you wake up. I got a page early this morning from the hospital. One of the other doctors couldn’t make their 6am shift and the ER needed the extra set of hands.

Unfortunately, I’ll be gone all day. Dr. Harter was scheduled to work until midnight tonight and I have to work my regular shift in therapy tomorrow at 8am, so I’ll probably just sleep in the on-call room at the hospital. I will call you though, whenever I can. I miss you already.

I also wanted to tell you how sorry I am about last night. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable or for you to feel pressured to do something you didn’t want to do, something you didn’t feel like you were ready to do. You give me everything, Bella, just by being you. I would never want you to think that I need more than what you are willing to give. I just want to be with you, in whatever capacity you will allow.

Now on a completely unrelated and hopefully, not too forward note; I took your house key off your key ring this morning so that I could lock up after me. I left your place at 4:30am and you looked too peaceful and beautiful to wake up. I also didn’t want to have to worry about you sleeping with your house unlocked. I put the key on top of the back left tire of your truck, hidden under the wheel well. I hope this doesn’t worry you that I borrowed your key, I was just worried about you and wanted to make sure you were safe. I care about you greatly and feel very protective of you and I hope that my actions weren’t too forward.

I miss you, and wish that you were still in my arms. Have a good day off and I’ll call you when I can.

Yours,

Edward

I read the letter over twice, trying to take in everything that he had written. He apologized for yesterday, although I was the one that needed to apologize. He said that he just wanted to be with me in whatever way I was comfortable with. He wouldn’t push, he would appreciate what he could get, and apparently, I gave him everything! He missed me, he wanted me to be safe, he cared for me and felt protective of me.

He took my house key. Um…yea.

As ‘stockerish’ as his actions might have seemed to an outsider, seeing how we hadn’t even known each other for a week, it warmed my heart that Edward had enough foresight and that he felt strongly enough to make sure I was going to be ok until I woke up.

The feelings of safety and comfort quickly disappeared and were replaced with concern, not only for the fact that Edward was working an 18 hour shift today, quickly followed by a 10 hour shift tomorrow and I couldn’t see him so I had another lonely day ahead of me, but concern that for a moment this morning, Edward had a key to my house. The thought rolled around in my head as I stared back down at his letter, still gripped tightly in my hands. Edward had a key to my house. Even if it was just for a minute, Edward had the power to come in after his shifts at night, crawl into bed and hold me tight without having to wake me up to let him in. He could stay nights when he had to work early the next morning and not have to be concerned about making sure I was safe. He could be waiting for me when I got home from work, or he could drop off surprise flowers for me, leaving them on my bed, or kitchen table. Edward could have a key to my house!

Wake the hell up Bella!!!! 6 days!!! You’ve known him 6 days. And what makes you think that he’d bring you flowers?  How much do you really know about him? But if it’s such a bad idea, why does it excite me? I wish Alice were here. She’d know what to do.

I refolded the letter and placed it back beside my alarm clock, noting that it was just after 7am. I pushed back my covers, crawled out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I looked at my face in the mirror. I looked the same as I always did; plain, ordinary, not ugly, but not beautiful. Edward thinks I’m beautiful. When I looked more closely, there was something different, some unnamed emotion shining in my eyes, and although I had a lonely day ahead of me, I still managed to have a small smile grace my face. It’s Edward, I thought, starting to recognize the importance of this man to my life.

People had always told me that I just hadn’t found who I was meant to be with, that there was a person out there who was made just for me, but I never believed them. Not really. I still didn’t know if I did. At one point in time, I had thought that Jake could have been my person, the one who I was meant to be with, the one that ‘fate’, if I even believed in ‘fate’, had created for me, but that I had ruined any chance with him. I thought that I had lost my one and only chance at having someone actually want me, at possibly being happy. But was it possible that Edward, the incredibly sexy, successful and caring doctor, was actually my real opportunity at happiness? I honestly didn’t know. It was too good to be true, I wasn’t lucky enough to find happiness, let alone happiness with someone like Edward.

I shook my head to break the thought and jumped in the shower to start my day. The key, fate, happiness, ‘the one’. Was Edward the answer to everything? Was him taking my key this morning just the push I needed to realize how much he actually cared for me? Did only knowing him for such a short amount of time really matter if there was a connection?

My mind wandered as I turned on the hot water and pulled the shower curtain closed. Once the water was warm enough, I pulled up the lever and the glorious warmth rained down on me. My mind ran in a million different directions, asking a million and one questions that I didn’t have a single answer for.

I mindlessly washed and conditioned my hair, letting the smell of strawberries engulf the bathroom. I grabbed my tan shower poof, squeezing on my body wash and tried to scrub away all the negative and doubtful thoughts floating around my head. What if I actually give him a key to my place so he doesn’t have to worry about taking mine again and he rejects it? What if he says it’s too soon, that he’s not into me enough to want a key to my house? He didn’t keep it anyway, he said that he put it on my rear tire. He must know that I have a spare somewhere in the house, that he could have kept it, but he didn’t. He didn’t want it. He didn’t want that much access to me. He didn’t want the pressure of having to be around me that much. If he had a key, he would feel obligated to use it.

I rinsed my hair and body and turned off the warm water, letting the cold reality settle on my wet skin. If I hadn’t wasted my possibly one and only chance of happiness with Jake, would I feel like this? Would I ask myself these questions? Would I be over analyzing everything I did with Edward? Would I feel so lost and confused and completely…unsure of everything? I don’t even feel like I know who I am anymore. I am completely unsure of myself, of everything going on in my life.

I stepped out of the shower, wrapped myself in my bathrobe, twisted my long hair up in another towel, and brushed my teeth. Then I made my way to my bedroom and connected my iPhone to my dock, pressing shuffle.

Days like this, I don’t know what to do with myself

All day---and all night

I wonder the hall along the walls and under my breath

I say to myself

I need fuel---to take flight

I dropped the jeans I was holding on the floor as my attention was pulled to the lyrics Fiona Apple sang. I didn’t know what to do, with myself, with Edward, with anything in my life. I felt completely alone, as if I was wandering blindly through my life, hoping that one day, I would be able to see where I was going and, as the song said, “take flight”. I dropped to my bed, staring at my iPhone dock, listening as my life was sung by a stranger.

Is that why they call me a sullen girl---a sullen girl

They don’t know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea

But he washed me ashore

And he took my pearl

And left an empty shell of me

I quickly sprang across my bed and turned off my docking station, no longer wanting to hear the truth of my life in the words. I didn’t need someone else telling me that I was an empty shell because of a man, I already knew that.

I settled for the deafening silence as I dressed in jeans and a red tank top with white polka dots and an elastic empire waist. I noticed Edward’s letter on my night stand as I went around my bed, taking off my sheets to wash them. I let out a sigh and sat down on the bed before reading it once more. He really did sound like he was concerned about me. And he didn’t seem too worried about taking my key to lock up. He sounded more concerned about how I would react to his actions.

After letting out another sigh, still unsure about my new dilemma, I set about my ‘to do’ list for the day. I finished taking the navy blue bed sheets and duvet cover off my bed and went to the linen closet in the hall to get some new sheets, pillow cases and another duvet cover. I reached into the closet and pulled out my favorite bedding. It was a cream colored bedding set of the softest sheets I had ever felt and my favorite duvet cover with matching pillow cases. The duvet was chocolate brown and ice blue with cream horizontal stripes and small ribbing running horizontally over the top of it. The pillows had the same stripes, but crossing vertically. The set was a ‘house warming’ gift from Alice when I found my house. She had been looking with me for weeks, going through rental unit after rental unit until we found one that was comfortable, affordable and not too far from work. Luckily the place came furnished, minus the bed, which I had to purchase. When the bed was delivered, it came with the bedding from Alice.  

I took the sheets into my room and proceeded to make my bed. I gathered the old sheets and duvet cover, my laundry from my hamper and the towels from the bathroom and made my way down to the basement to do my four loads of laundry. While my whites were getting cleaned, I went upstairs and outside to grab the paper from the front stoop and my house key from on top of my truck tire. Then I came back into the house and made my way to the kitchen for breakfast.

“Well crap,” I said as I opened up my fridge to get some milk for my cereal. Clearly I would be adding grocery shopping to my list of things to do today. I ate my dry Honey Nut Cheerios, brushed my teeth again, changed the load of laundry and headed out for the day.

I was feeling lonely, as I was initially intending on spending the day with Edward. And although it would have just been a lazy day of doing chores, the company would have been nice.

I jumped in my truck and headed to the grocery store around the corner. My list wasn’t too big, just the necessities like milk, bread, eggs, chicken, cheese, fruit and coffee. I still had a few meal possibilities left from my last grocery stop so instead of going up and down the aisles like normal, I headed to specific items, then straight to the check out, not even allowing my focus to waver to the gum I always contemplate buying whenever I’m at the checkout counter.

I loaded my truck and sat in the parking lot, deciding on my next journey. Ok, Jasper said that I needed to trust myself more and stop over-analyzing everything. But is rationally thinking things out over-analyzing or is it being cautious and prepared? To key, or not to key, that is the question. Do I get an extra key made for Edward and hope he doesn’t reject it or do I forget what happened this morning and how I felt at the possibility of him having a key? I closed my eyes and for the first time in a long time, I listened to the advice that Jasper had given me and went with my gut, I went with what I wanted, not worrying about what others would think. I would worry about the consequences later. I started my truck and headed to Wal-Mart.

I pulled into the parking lot not 5 minutes later, surprisingly confident in the decision I was making. I walked into the store, smiled timidly at the greeter and headed to automotive to get a spare key made. On my way to the back of the store, someone called my name and a chill ran down my back.

“Bella!” they called again. I reluctantly turned around to see Kim, a girl I went to high school with, who actually knew about my history with Jake. She was the only friend who had actually met him. Kim and I had been hanging out at Charlie’s when Jake called and invited himself over. He came over, brought his friend Jared with him, a distraction for me apparently. Jake flirted with Kim right in front of me the entire time. Kim, however, has had a secret crush on Jared ever since.   

“Hey Kim,” I smiled at her as my stomach twisted. I liked Kim, she was always sweet to me, but she was a link to Jacob that I wasn’t ready to connect with. But regardless of how fearful and reluctant I was to have this encounter, Kim trudged on to close the gap between us.

“How are you?” she smiled just before she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tightly. She pulled back to take a look at me. “You look good.”

“Thanks, so do you.”

“So, Bella, how have you been? I haven’t seen you in what, 10 years? How are things?”

“Things are good. How are things with you?” I tried as hard as I could to be polite, but I really didn’t want to talk about me. There wasn’t really anything to talk about anyway. Besides my job and my ‘thing?’ with Edward, nothing had changed with me in 10 years.

“I’m excellent,” she exclaimed with a huge smile growing on her face. “Jared and I are engaged and we’re getting married in April. My mom and I took the day off work so that we could spend the entire weekend here in Seattle looking for dresses.” She threw out her left hand to show off her engagement ring. I remembered Jared. He and Jake lived on the reservation and didn’t have a lot of money. He must have been saving up for the ring for a LONG time. It was a beautifully shaped yellow gold ring that carved around a single round diamond on top. I held my breath as I forced a smile onto my face and examined her hand.

“That’s beautiful, Kim. Congratulations.” I smiled at her and slowly stepped back.

“Thanks, Bella. We’re really excited.”

I smiled and nodded at her. I didn’t know what to say. I hated these moments when I couldn’t be happy for other people because it just reminded me of what I didn’t have and how I wasn’t as happy as them. An awkward silence settled between us and thankfully Kim’s mother came up behind her with some face cream and sunglasses in her hand.

“Kim?” she asked as she walked up towards us.

“Well,” Kim started as she turned back after holding up her finger to her mother to tell her she’d be there in a second, “it was great seeing you again, Bella. We should get together next time you’re in Forks.”

She came up to me again and gave me a tiny hug before she smiled and left with her mother. I stood there and watched the two women walk off to the cashiers, smiles on their faces and laughter echoing after them. I had to hold my breath and bite the inside corner of my mouth to gather my thoughts back in order. Once I could be certain that the tears wouldn’t come and that my chest wasn’t aching as much, I turned around and continued onwards to my automotive destination.

I wonder if Jake and Jared are still in touch. Or if she’ll tell Jake she saw me. I wonder if she’ll even remember we ran into each other by the time she gets back home. I miss my mom.

With lonely and longing thoughts running through my head, I got my spare key cut and made my way back home. Unfortunately, my run in with Kim had put a damper on my good morning. I continued to think how different our lives were as I put my groceries away and switched my laundry. I was just pulling my grade book out when I heard my phone ringing in my purse by the front door. I quickly walked over, pulled it out and sighed at the name on the screen.

“Hi” I answered with relief but sadness coloring my voice.

“Hey, beautiful. What’s the matter? You sound really sad.”

“I’m fine,” I lied. How could I tell Edward that I was depressed because I ran into someone I knew from Forks who was engaged? My loneliness was confusing and frustrating to me, so how was I supposed to explain it to Edward?

“Bella? What is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“You’re worrying me. Did you have a bad dream after I left?” I could tell that he was genuinely concerned about what was wrong, but I still didn’t know if we were the type of people who confided in each other about things like this.

“Yea, I had a bad dream…but…I ran into someone from Forks today. A girl I went to high school with who’s dating one of Jacob’s friends…well…engaged to now I guess…” I trailed off, not really knowing how much I was supposed to or even allowed to unload on him.

“And…” he hedged, apparently wanting me to continue. I took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to proceed as I walked into my living room and plopped down on my couch.

“Well…I guess it just made me a bit sad. She was there wedding dress shopping with her mom and she showed me the ring…and…I don’t know.”

“You felt left out.” Edward didn’t ask if his assumption was correct. He just nailed it on the head.

“Yea,” I whispered under my breath as I lifted my right hand to wipe away a lone tear.

“Bella,” he sighed in a sad voice, “you’re not left out, hon. And I sense that you don’t really talk to your mother. I know that you ‘don’t do weddings’,” he paused to emphasize my own words from Alice and Jasper’s wedding, “but you can’t let someone else’s happiness bring you down.”

I was silent for a moment, trying to take in his words, but all I kept thinking was, where’s my happiness?

“Bella,” he interrupted my silence, “you still there?”

“Yea”

“Ok,” he started, but paused. I didn’t know if he was waiting for me to say something or if he was trying to gather his thoughts.

“Bella,” he started again, “you’re not left behind.” The unsuspecting truth behind his words was stabbing. That was exactly how I felt every day, that people were moving on and just forgot me along the way. I sniffled as more tears ran down my cheek.

“People go through different things at different stages of their life,” he continued. I nodded my head knowing that he couldn’t see me.

“And you’re not alone,” he said with strength in his voice, “you have me.”

I sat there on my couch wiping tears away as I tried to ground myself with his words. He knew my pain, but he also knew the words to say to make me rethink it. However, his last statement made me question if he was telling me what he truly believed, or just what he thought I needed to hear.

“Edward?” I asked in a tight voice as I sniffled and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself to ask the question that had been on my mind for the past six days, “what are we?”

“What do you mean?”

“What are we to each other?”

“Bella,” he sighed again, “I can’t tell you how you feel about me. But from the way you kiss me and what you said yesterday about how you’ve never been with anyone else like you’ve been with me, I’m pretty sure your feelings for me are more than just friends.” Again, I nodded, not really knowing how to respond to that.

“As for how I feel about you,” he continued, “I think I’ve made that pretty clear.” I could hear the smile in his voice as he reminded me of his letter from this morning. “You’re very important to me, Bella,” he continued in a more serious tone. “I care about you a lot. I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever met. You are compassionate, and vulnerable, and incredibly intelligent, and you care tremendously about the people in your life. I’ve never met anyone who has a bigger heart or who was more giving. You’ve been hurt, and sometimes you’re insecure, but it just shows how honest and real you are. I care about you very much, Bella. I think about you all the time and constantly wish I were with you.”

“I think about you all the time too,” I whispered as tears continued to form behind my eyes at his words.

“We can be whatever you want us to be, Bella,” he stated with tenderness in his voice, which brought back my earlier concerns about progressing too fast. He was once again letting me know that he would take whatever I was willing to give. “If you want to say that we’re seeing each other and that we’re in a relationship, I would be more than happy with that. But if you just want to be friends, I will gladly accept that as well, although I would hope to one day be more than that.”

“I want to be more than friends too,” I whispered uncertainly as more questions flooded my mind after his declaration of feelings, “but I need to know some stuff first…if that’s ok.”

“Of course it’s ok. You can always ask me anything, Bella.”

“I just…” it was tougher than I thought it would be, asking the person I was ‘sorta’ seeing why he wanted to see me in the first place without sounding like I was looking for a compliment. “I just don’t understand why you wanted to be with me in the first place, why you came up to me at the wedding? How could someone like you be single and actually want to be with someone like me?”

“Truth?” he asked with a little hesitation in his voice. I was starting to get scared that he was going to confirm my initial suspicion and say that it was Jasper but I knew that I needed to hear the truth, regardless if it would break me apart or not.

“Please.”

“You were crying,” he started in a pained voice. “I saw you before the wedding, running around, getting everything ready, looking incredibly beautiful and sexy and confident and in charge, but as soon as the wedding started, you looked incredibly sad. After the dinner, I noticed that you were crying and it broke my heart. I was attracted to you right away, but it was seeing your sadness that made me want to protect you and fix whatever it was that was hurting you.

And as for how someone like me could be single and actually want to be with someone like you? It’s simple. You don’t see yourself clearly. I was single because I hadn’t found anyone I wanted to be with, until I met you. I’ve dated in the past, but not for a long time.”

“But why me? I’m broken. I’m not like one of your patients that you can fix. I’ll never be…right.” I was crying by the end, finally expressing how unequal we were, how damaged I was and how delusional he was in wanting me.

Edward was silent for a moment. All I could hear was his breathing. This is it. The moment I knew was coming from the first time I saw him. He finally knows that I’m not good enough, that I’m too broken to fix. I guess I’ll just have two extra house keys now. This was going to hurt. The silence kept building and building. Edward was probably trying to figure out a way to retract what he said earlier and just tell me ‘goodbye’.

Finally I heard him take a large inhale and start to talk in a very gentle voice. This is going to hurt.

“Bella, I want you. No one else.” He paused and I could hear him swallow on the other end of the phone. “When I first saw you at the wedding, you were taking care of everything, of everyone, but you wouldn’t let others take care of you. Someone that giving, that altruistic deserves to have someone take care of them once in a while. To have someone reciprocate that generosity and compassion. You’re always making sure that others are happy and looked after, but when was the last time you made sure that you were happy? I know it sounds like I’m a possessive caveman, but I want to take care of you and make sure that you’re being looked after. I don’t care if you have a past, or if you think that you’re broken or that you’ll never be right. You’re right for me.”

I was completely silent. My left hand was tightly clutching the phone to my ear, making sure that I didn’t miss a word he said, while my right hand was pulling tissue after tissue out of the box on the side table.

“Edward…I…”

“You don’t have to say anything, Bella,” he interrupted.

“I know. But I want too.” I took a breath as he stayed silent, patiently waiting for me to continue. “I want you too,” I whispered into my phone, “and I know that I have a…hard time letting people in…and I know that I’m broken…but…I like it…when you make sure I’m ok. You make me happy and I like it when you’re here. I miss you when you’re not.” My voice was barely a whisper at the end, and I wasn’t sure if he heard me or not.

“I miss you too,” he said gently into the phone, “I’m sorry I had to work today.”

“It’s ok. The patients are more important than just hanging out with me.”

“I don’t know if I agree with you there.”

For the first time since I got home, a smile lit up my face. I may not be perfect, and I may be completely undeserving of him, but Edward made me feel special for the first time in a very long time.

“So,” he started in a mischievous tone, “any decision on where we stand on the whole ‘relationship, are we/aren’t we dating’ issue?”

“Yes,” I said tentatively but with a small smile on my face.

“Yes?”

“Yes”

Edward and I talked for a couple more minutes before he said his beeper was going off and that he had to run, but that he would call me back when he had the chance.

I made my way into the kitchen with a smile on my face and a skip in my step. Although I had cried for most of the conversation, it was productive, encouraging and decisive.

Edward wanted me, just how I was.

We were officially in a relationship.

Soon, Edward would be getting a key to my house.

Chapter 14 teaser

Hello all, 

I'm so happy to introduce Kayle Cullen as my new validation beta over on Twilighted. Within 4 days, she has validated 2 chapters for me so hopefully the blog won't get too far ahead. Please keep in mind though, that I do have to wait to get my chapters back from my beta evilangel6714 before I can post here or upload on Twilighted so don't get too excited about the quick updates just yet, but I promise to do what I can to keep this story moving. 

On that note, here's the teaser for CH 14

~~

“I just…” it was tougher than I thought it would be, asking the person I was ‘sorta’ seeing why he wanted to see me in the first place without sounding like I was looking for a compliment. “I just don’t understand why you wanted to be with me in the first place, why you came up to me at the wedding? How could someone like you be single and actually want to be with someone like me?”

“Truth?” he asked with a little hesitation in his voice. I was starting to get scared that he was going to confirm my initial suspicion and say that it was Jasper but I knew that I needed to hear the truth, regardless if it would break me apart or not.

“Please.”

Chapter 13

Hello everyone,

You could not believe how sorry I am at how delayed this chapter was. But, hopefully knowing that Twilighted hasn't even validated CH 12 yet will make you feel a bit better. I hope you all liked my Thanksgiving day present to all of you. Please know that I truly meant every word. And if you want me to add the 'ART' section to the blog, or if you're interested in making any banners, trailers or any kind of art for "Made to Live Alone", please let me know. I want to showcase what you beautiful readers can do.

Anyway, here's CH 13, the Outfits and Extras.

Hope you enjoy!!!!

~JustTry

Chapter 13 text

Thursday July 15th

The angry sound of my alarm clock woke me up, but it wasn’t until I heard a loud thud and a moan coming from beneath my ear that I was actually awake. I quickly opened my eyes to see Edward’s hand repeatedly slapping my alarm clock until the buzzing sound stopped. I couldn’t help the small chuckle that left my mouth at the sight of Edward’s battle with my $10.99, Wal-Mart alarm clock. Thankfully, for the safety of my clock, Edward won.

“Not funny,” he mumbled as he wrapped me tightly back in his arms and immediately started to drift back to sleep. “Too early.” His last words barely made it out of his mouth coherently before they trailed off and his breathing deepened.

In all honesty, it was too early. I would have preferred to stay in bed with Edward for the rest of the day, but I had a class to teach and papers to collect. I needed to be an adult and push aside what I wanted for what I had to do.

I slowly lifted my head off Edward’s chest, placing a soft kiss over it, and started to shimmy out of his arms, trying my best not to wake the tired doctor. Unfortunately, the angry grunt that came directly from his chest told me I had failed at my attempt.

“20 more minutes,” he whined as he once again pulled me close and buried his face in the top of my head. I could feel his lips pressing into my hair as he cradled me back into his arms.

“I don’t have 20 minutes,” I whispered to him, “I have to get up for work.”

“Fine,” he grumbled, “meanie.”

I laughed as I once again attempted to get out of his warm and comforting embrace. Edward, however, was a sneaky bugger and had another idea all together. As I started to roll away from him, he, in turn, proceeded to roll on top of me, pressing the left side of his torso onto the right side of mine, throwing his left arm over my stomach to hold me down and burying his face into my neck.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he whispered as he pressed a kiss onto the left side of my neck. His warm breath and tender touch sent a shiver down my spine.

“Morning,” I replied in a shaky and somewhat panicky voice. Edward was on top of me, in my bed, his left hand slowly rubbing up and down my right side.

Edward pulled back to look down at me. There was gentleness in his eyes as he lowered his lips to lightly press them against mine. He was incredibly tender as he gently lifted his left hand from my side to cradle my cheek. There was no urgency or need in the way Edward’s body pressed against mine, or how he kissed me, just compassion, longing and pure contentment.

Edward pulled back and that crooked smile spread across his face.

“I could get used to waking up like this,” he smiled at me as he once again pressed a quick kiss to my lips and gently rolled off of me onto his back. Holy shit!! Did he just say that he wants to spend more nights with me????Does that mean that he wants to move us further, start…doing…things? I’m ok with kissing him now, but what if he starts expecting more since he clearly wants to spend more time in my bed?

I tried to give Edward a smile as I got out of bed, but I was afraid that the tension from my thoughts was clearly written on my face. I turned my back to him, hoping to hide any of my worries from him and made my way to my closet and dresser to get my clothes. As I softly heard his breath evening out once more, I realized how unsure I was about Edward going back to sleep and staying here while I was at work. After working for 28 straight hours though, I could only assume that one would need more than four hours of sleep and I didn’t want to rush him out of my bed. He needed his rest. Plus, now my pillow will smell like him again.

I quietly made my way to the bathroom to do my morning routine, washing my face, brushing my teeth and apparently getting dressed in there this morning too. I slipped on my gray linen sailor pants and a black sleeveless turtleneck and quietly made my way back to my bedroom to peek at Edward. What I saw made me smile.

Edward was fast asleep, laying on his right side, cuddling with my pillow. He had the tiniest smile on his lips as he sank deeper and deeper into where I had rested my head. I once again took on my ninja persona and with as much stealth as I could muster, made my way over to Edward and placed a kiss on his left cheek. I really didn’t want to wake him. He was completely exhausted and sound asleep. But what do I do? Let him stay here alone in my house while I go to work? I’m not really ok with that, not at all. But he’s so tired, he’ll probably sleep the whole day. And I’ll be home by 1:30 anyways. I don’t want to be responsible for him falling asleep behind the wheel if I send him home. FUCK!!! I clearly hadn’t been thinking the night before when I let him into my bed at 4:30 in the morning after a 28 hour shift.

I continued to stare at a sleeping Edward as I contemplated my next move. What is he going to do? Steal my non-existent jewelry or my crappy TV from 1998? I had trust Edward if this ‘relationship’ was going to go anywhere. With my wavering decision made, I leaned over to give an unknowing Edward my permission to stay. 

“Bye Edward, I’ll be back just before 1:30,” I whispered to him as I removed a piece of his hair that was falling into his eye. He hugged my pillow and made a soft humming noise before falling soundly back to sleep.

I made my way down to the kitchen, grabbing my coffee and a granola bar before I wrote a note to Edward, telling him I was at work, but that he was welcome to stay if he wanted to. I also reluctantly wrote that if he needed to leave or didn’t want to stay here, he could go through the back door and just leave it unlocked. My neighbor was a little old lady who was always in her backyard gardening. She would see if anyone tried to get in.

A brief sadness flooded through me at the thought of Edward not wanting to be here when I got back from work, but I quickly shook that thought away and headed off to school.

Class was pretty much as I predicted it would be. The topic for the day, and subsequently the next week was to take the hero of the story and write an essay about how they were a negative influence on the story as a whole.

“But Ms. Swan, I don’t get it,” Tess asked. I was really proud at her progression over the summer and how much she had opened up in the class. “If our main character is the hero, how are we supposed to write their negative influences? Aren’t hero’s inherently good?”

“Ok, well let’s think about this. At the beginning of the summer, when we were studying details and the influence of words, we looked at Chocolat, both the book and film versions, analyzing the different ways words translate to the audience.” All the students nodded, remembering how we compared and contrasted the two mediums. Some were on the book side, saying there was more detail in the book and that it influenced the mind more with the words, allowing independent creativity and free thinking, while some students were on the film side, saying that the images and voice over created a better visual, that words were sometimes inadequate and unable to convey what was being shown. Plus, they got to watch Johnny Depp.

“Well,” I continued, “if we look back on Vianne, the heroine of the story, we could argue that she was influential on the town in both a positive and negative way. She opened up the eyes of the town, liberating them in a way and exposing them to a new mentality, but what consequences did it have? It’s like in Pocahontas, when John Smith comes in. He says that he’s going to tear down the forest to make room for buildings, show everyone how to use their land properly, make it better and civilize the savages, but he also ignores the way the village is run, the tradition, the culture and how the people in the village live. In Chocolat, Vianne came in and completely changed the way the small village worked. What if people were so set in their ways that now they don’t know where to turn? What about their traditions, their religion, their peaceful, quiet town? Also, was she really the greatest role model for her daughter? Never giving her a solid home and always taking her away from her friends.”

The students continued to nod as I went on. “So for your stories, I want you to take a truly objective view of the main character and look for anything that could have made them a negative influence on the other characters, how they might not have been the best hero, or a good role model.”

The class continued for the rest of the day with an open discussion about each of the individual books they were reading. It wasn’t really how I planned on the students getting their essay ideas, but they seemed thoroughly engrossed in the class discussion about what qualities make up a hero and if hero’s had to be good or if they just had to ‘save the day’.

The class ended with the students still deep in discussion and surprisingly excited about their thesis. As soon as I was safely in my truck, I allowed myself to focus on home. I drove with a flicker of excitement and yet, there was also fear inside me. Would Edward be there or would he have left?

I turned onto my street and saw his shiny silver Volvo parked in front of my house. An enormous smile broke out on my face as I parked my truck and rushed to the front door. With a new zeal, I pushed the door open and walked into my hallway. I could hear soft music playing, its origin unknown, as I looked around the house for any sign of Edward.

“Edward?” I asked the empty house. There was no answer. “Edward?” I tried again a little louder as I made my way deeper into the house. I checked the living room and kitchen, but they were empty, and clean. He tidied up my living room and kitchen for me. I don’t know how I feel about that.

I made my way upstairs to see if he was still sleeping, but my bed was perfectly made and the bathroom was empty. I strolled further into my bedroom, taking off my earrings and putting my hair up in a ponytail. I made my way over to my dresser to put my earrings in my jewelry box and glanced out my bedroom window. There in my backyard, I could just see the tips of some toes propped up on my deck rail. He’s here!

I made my way over to my closet and changed into some jean shorts and a red tank top, throwing my clothes from work into the hamper and then I ran down the stairs and out the back door. There sat Edward, book in hand, glass of water on the patio table and my patio speakers hooked up to his iPod.

He turned around as the screen door shut behind me and a gorgeous smile lit up his face.

“Hey you,” he smiled at me as he placed his book on the table, pressing it open to keep his place.

I walked over to Edward automatically, my legs and heart not giving my brain the opportunity to process what I was doing. I leaned over, gently brushing a piece of his hair back as I leaned down to kiss him.

“You stayed,” I whispered against his lips as Edward’s arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his lap. His arms encircled me tightly, bringing me impossibly close to his chest, and then he kissed me passionately. My arms went over his shoulders and my hands immediately went into his hair as I lost all thought, becoming completely absorbed in Edward’s kiss.

His lips were even softer than yesterday, perfectly tender, with just a bit of need. He took my top lip in between his and gently sucked and nipped at it, until his tongue traced over the inner part of my top lip, asking for more. I was not in the frame of mind to deny this man anything, so I freely opened to him, taking his tongue into my mouth. A moan escaped both our mouths as our tongues met and discovered the other. He was everywhere. I was completely surrounded by the scent, taste and feel of Edward. His left hand was running up and down my back, playing with the hem of my shirt, while his right hand held the back of my neck, securing us to each other.

Edward slowly removed his lips from mine, depriving one of my senses from him, and moved his mouth to my jaw. I was gasping as Edward slowly and reverently kissed along the left side of my jaw, up to my ear. He pressed a single kiss directly behind my ear and my body literally shook. What the hell? I’ve never felt that before. Mind you, no one has ever kissed me there before either.

“Of course I stayed,” he whispered as he placed another kiss onto my newly discovered weak spot, “there’s nowhere else I want to be.”

He placed one last kiss on my magical spot before returning for one final kiss on my lips. He slowly pulled away, moving his right hand to brush over my blushing cheeks. “I love this,” he whispered as he leaned in and kissed each cheek. This only made me blush harder as I lowered my head to try and hide from him.

I could hear him laughing above me as he kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer to him, resting my left cheek on his chest.

“Hi beautiful,” he chuckled at me, “welcome home.”

I looked up to meet his eyes and all I could do was smile.

Edward stayed for dinner. Apparently he had gone shopping during the day and wanted to make it for me. He was planning on herbed chicken, wild rice and a medley of grilled bok choy, asparagus, peppers and carrots. I was in complete awe as he removed the already herbed chicken from the fridge and all the vegetables, which were already cut.

“So can I at least make the rice?” I asked as I tried to get past Edward and into my own kitchen.

“Nope,” he said as he continued to block my way, “I’m making this for you. Go sit out back, listen to some music, I’ll be out in a minute…” he popped back into the fridge, but before I could make any headway into the kitchen, he came back out with a juice pitcher filled with some kind of red liquid and loads of fruit. He put the pitcher on the counter, grabbed a glass from my cupboards and poured the juice/fruit concoction into one of three miss-matched wine goblets I owned.

“Here,” he said as he handed me the glass and then poured one for himself. As he poured himself a drink, I examined the glass in my hand. It had slices of pineapple, peaches, cherries, grapes, orange slices and strawberries inside. I looked at it questioningly, wondering if I was supposed to eat or drink my drink.

“It’s Sangria with some Sprite, and I added a bit of fruit.” He smiled at me as he kissed my cheek and literally pushed me out my back door as I took a tentative test of the unknown drink. Holy crap that’s good! True to his word, Edward came out not ten minutes later carrying our herbed chicken breasts and a large, flat square of aluminum foil, which I assumed were the vegetables.

Once everything was on the BBQ, slowly cooking on the lowest setting, Edward came and sat beside me, planting a quick kiss on top of my head as he passed and we fell into an easy conversation about our day. I told him about my class, earning the same confused look that my students wore when I told them to explain how the hero was negative. After clarifying everything to Edward, he seemed intrigued and actually came up with a few examples of ‘negative heroes’ on his own.

I proceeded to ask Edward about his shift. His night on Tuesday had been eerily slow, but after his planned surgery Wednesday morning, which went perfectly well, the ER was packed, the result of a car accident, a child falling out of a tree and a horrific kid’s birthday party at the zoo where one kid who was allergic to bee stings got stung, one child tripped and banged his knee on the edge of the dirty monkey cage, splitting it open and one child got a little cocky with the tigers. He ended up with a broken arm when a tiger charged at the cage and he fell backwards. That poor mother. Hopefully she at least had some help with all those kids.

After the stories were told, and dinner was had, Edward crossed his legs around my right ankle under the table, trying to maintain constant contact.

“So…” he began with a devilish smile on his face, “I don’t have to work tomorrow so I have all night free if you’d like to spend it together.” Edward slowly stood up and walked over to me, offering his left hand to me. Grabbing it, he gently pulled me up and through the back door into the house. He ushered me to the couch, sat me down and made his way back to the kitchen.

Edward’s words spun around my head as I sat alone in the quiet living room waiting for Edward to return. My stomach dropped at the implication of what he was saying. Yes I wanted to spend time with Edward, and I wanted to curl up to him again tonight, but…there was a lot of weight behind what he had said.

I was about to answer him, that yes, I wanted him to stay, but…how do I finish that sentence without hurting his feelings?... when Edward walked in carrying a large serving tray I didn’t even know I owned. On it were two bowls and spoons, a jar of maraschino cherries, rainbow sprinkles, chocolate sauce, chocolate chips, caramel sauce, a can of whip cream, tiny marshmallows and...is that cookie dough?!?!?!?

He placed the tray on my coffee table, laying everything out like a buffet and went back to the kitchen, returning with a tub of vanilla ice cream. “I thought we could make Sundays and then go for a walk tonight under the stars.”

My smile was shy and my eyes were tearing up. God, why did I think that he was implicating something? This man was so sweet and I immediately thought the worst. Edward quickly sat down beside me, taking my right hand in his left and wiped away the tear that had secretly fallen from my left eye.

“Hey,” he whispered, “why the tears?”

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face into his shoulder. “That just sounds really nice,” I mumbled against his left shoulder. I pulled back and kissed him with gratitude.  “Thank you. For dinner, for this,” I indicated towards the ice-cream buffet in my living room as I curled into Edward’s chest, “for everything.”

We sat there in silence, cuddled together, Edward gently rubbing his hands up and down my left arm before we dove into the ice cream. I loaded my ice cream up with cookie dough, cherries, and chocolate chips. My bowl was overflowing and Edward just laughed at me, until he settled back into the couch with a bowl even larger than mine. We ate our dessert while we watched Big Bang Theory, laughing and snuggling closer when our ice cream was done. When the episode was over, we cleaned up the buffet and headed out for a walk, hand in hand, both of us staring up at the stars.

Edward took me to the park around my block and pushed me on the swing until a shiver ran threw me. “Getting cold?” he asked as he stopped the swing and wrapped his arms around me from behind. I leaned back into his chest and simply nodded my head. “Ok,” he said into my hair, “let’s go home.”

Edward and I walked back hand in hand in comfortable silence, his thumb constantly making circles on the back on my hand. We got back to my house and I decided to change into my pajamas, as I was still chilly from the walk. I went upstairs, Edward joining me, to notice that there was a duffle bag on the floor on Edward’s side of the bed. Um…ok? Apparently I already think that Edward has a side to my bed?

He reached into it and pulled out some navy blue pajama pants and a gray v-neck t-shirt.

“I’ll use the spare room to change,” he said with a crooked smirk as he went to leave me to change, pulling me into a hug and a kiss on his way out. We had been out for our walk, playing at the park for hours and the hot weather from this afternoon on top of the lack of sleep from the night before made my bed look far more comfortable than it should have. I got changed and flopped down on my back, laying across the bed and closed my eyes. Nothing??? I don’t have any thoughts about Edward spending the day in my house, alone, or the fact that he asked me if I wanted to spend the night together with him? Ok…there’s the fear I was waiting for.

With my eyes closed, my breathing got a bit ragged. I tried to calm my nerves and think positively about Edward. I liked him, I wanted to spend time with him, he was amazing and made a fabulous dinner, a fun desert and part of me just wants to touch him everywhere. His kisses and touches were so light, but passionate and I couldn’t deny the want that was behind his every touch.

I continued to lay there with my eyes closed, taking my hair out of the ponytail to relax deeper into my bed until I felt the bed lower beside me. I automatically rolled into Edward as he joined me on my bed and wrapped my right arm across his chest. I didn’t open my eyes, I just wanted to breathe him in, feel him, feel wanted in his arms.

“What are you thinking about?” He asked in a quiet voice as he reached over and pushed a piece of hair behind my right ear.

“You,” I answered timidly, not wanting to admit it but not wanting to lie to him either. 

“Oh, really?” he asked in a joking voice as the bed shifted beside me. I was no longer in Edward’s arms, but I could still feel him staring at me. I slowly opened my eyes to see him looking down at me, longing and interest shining brightly in his beautiful green eyes. I just nodded as he continued to look down at me.

Something in his eyes changed in that moment and he slowly lowered himself closer to me.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about you too.”

Edward’s lips met mine as he fully laid himself on top of me. He was supporting his weight on his elbows but I could feel the entire length of his body pressed against mine. His right hand held my face as he slowly deepened the kiss. His tongue met mine with a distinct need as his hand left my face and slowly started to make its way down my neck and across my shoulder. His fingers lightly ran up and down my left arm before hooking under the strap of my cami and pulling it aside. Edward broke away from the kiss, but his lips never left my skin. I was trying to catch my breath as he gently moved his lips over my jaw, down my neck and across my collarbone.

“Bella,” he whispered against my skin as his right hand gently repositioned itself on my left hip, his thumb placing gentle circles on the exposed skin between my pants and shirt. His touch was magic, igniting every inch of skin it made contact with. His hands were not forward or assuming, but comforted me and grounded me to him. And although I was ok with how he was kissing me and touching me, I was starting to feel uncomfortable with where this was progressing, but I really didn’t want to push him away. He had been so great and I was really starting to trust him, but I was starting to worry that I was getting in too deep, too fast.

Edward’s lips returned to mine with a soft groan as he lowered himself even further onto me. He was still holding up his weight, but he was now completely covering me, there was no way for me to escape if I needed to. His kissing took on an urgent longing and was more passionate then I had ever experienced before. God, I want him, but what…how do I…what do I do? What if I do something wrong? I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, I’m just following along.

I felt like a complete idiot and started to panic that Edward would soon find out that I had no idea what I was doing. I couldn’t even enjoy his kisses anymore, I was completely in my head, analyzing what was happening and trying to figure out what to do next.

Edward’s hands started roaming my body, moving down my left thigh to the crook in my knee. Without warning, he hooked it up to bend it and settled his body between my legs. His left hand remained beside my head, supporting the weight of his upper body as his right hand now ascended up my body, over my hip, across my ribs to stop just under my left breast. His hand was still on top of my shirt, but I could feel the heat of it blazing across my skin, touching me where only one man had ever touched me before.

Suddenly, images of a time with Jacob quickly flashed in my mind, sending shutters and a fresh wave of panic through my body.

It was my 21^st birthday and he was supposed to meet me at the bar to celebrate, but instead, he decided to get drunk at his house with his friends, as I sat alone at the only bar in Forks, waiting for Jacob to show up. When I called him, he said that something came up, but he was home now and I should come over. 

We were sitting together on Jacob’s couch, watching a movie while he was resting back against my body, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, his beer bottles still littering the table in front of us. Jake slowly reached up with his left hand to capture mine, and gently brought it up to his lips. Carefully, he started to kiss each finger on my left hand, slowly taking each one into his mouth and gently running his tongue over the pad of each finger. I remembered how my heart beat immediately started to race. I had rested my head forward against the left side of his head as he continued to kiss my fingers, tenderly moving his lips to place a kiss to the centre of my palm. I softly pressed a kiss to his left temple before he turned his head enough to kiss me.

Jacob swiveled his body in my lap so that he was now facing me and immediately, an urgency took him over. He quickly pushed me down onto my back and laid himself on top of me, not bothering to hold up his weight. I could feel the pressure of his body weighing down on me, making it harder to breath as his beer flavored lips attacked my mouth. His hands were frantic, holding and grabbing me with more force than he had ever used before. I pulled my mouth away from his and asked Jacob to slow down but he just ignored me. I tried to push him off from on top of me, but he just pressed deeper into me.

Before I could stop it, Jacob had thrust his right hand under my shirt and was grabbing my breast, hard. He had started to roughly grind himself into me as he violently grabbed my hair in his left hand to hold my mouth back against his. I started to panic at how different this Jacob was to the one I had known for so many years. All I could remember is that when I was able to pull my mouth away and asked him to stop, he asked me why I was choosing to be a virgin instead of letting him ‘fix it’.

That was the last time Jacob ever touched me that roughly, but Jake had never been particularly gentle. He went in with both hands, no warning, no warm up and just did what he wanted until I pushed him away. But Edward’s hands were tender and were touching me with such care. He was touching me in a way that I had never been touched before. It was startling, and exciting but no matter how much I tried to distinguish the difference, it reminded me of the last time I had been touched and I started to shake.

Edward’s hand slowly moved the last bit upwards until he was fully caressing my left breast. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God…I mentally freaked out and started to push Edward away to stop him.

“Edward, please…stop” I whimpered against his lips, as my hands found their way to his chest and gave a gentle push. Edward immediately moved back to look at me, worry filling his eyes.

“Bella, what’s the matter? Why are you shaking?”

I just shook my head at him as I desperately tried to calm my breath and my heart. Edward was nothing like Jacob, but the memory and the direction this was going prevented me from calming down. I needed to tell Edward the truth, about everything.

“Bella, please?” I could hear the pain and fear in Edward’s voice. 

“I can’t,” I barely pushed out of my mouth.  

“Can’t what?”

“I can’t do this.” Edward just stared at me, completely confused. He was still hovering over me, we were both catching our breath but the overwhelming emotions started to take over and tears started to fill my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but they slowly squeezed through my eyelids and slid down the side of my face onto my comforter.

“Bella?” Edward pulled back farther to look at me in total shock. I could tell that he was starting to panic from my emotional outburst. Well, I guess it’s that time. Time to tell him and watch him laugh at me and run away. Alone again, Swan, always alone.

“Edward, I… I’m sorry… I can’t do this”.

He just looked down at me, giving me the time I needed to process everything that had just happened.

I closed my eyes and rolled my face to the left. I quickly covered my mouth with my hands as I felt a heart-breaking sob building in my chest at the thought of telling Edward about another one of my weak moments with Jacob and the imminent rejection I was about to face. Tears continued to stream down my cheek to soak my already drenched blanket. I could still feel Edward’s eyes on me as I struggled to get a solid breath.

“Bella, please, you’re scaring me”.

Slowly pushing Edward back so that I could scurry out from under him, I positioned myself up against the headboard and finally looked up to meet Edward’s eyes. With a slow and shaky breath, I told Edward. I told him what happened between Jacob and I.

 “Oh, Bella”, he scurried up to me, his voice dripping with sadness, and immediately wrapped me in his arms. The pain and heartbreak I felt at being once again pitied flowed through my veins, shooting tangible pain through my entire body. He pulled me tight into his arms. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I pushed out of his arms and curled into myself again and dropped my head so that I didn’t have to look him in his sympathetic but judgmental eyes.

“There’s more,” I whispered as I kept my eyes averted from his.

“I…um…I’ve never done anything…like this…before…”

“What do you mean?” he asked with obvious confusion.

“I mean I haven’t done this before,” I weakly waved my hands between the two of us, hopefully telling him what I meant, without actually telling him what I meant, “any of it.”

Without turning my head back to face Edward, who had wrapped his right arm around me and pulled me into his side, I hesitantly whispered, “I’m a virgin, Edward.”

I heard Edward take a quick intake of breath and my eyes slowly opened as I turn my head to face him. He just stared at me in disbelief. I took a deep breath and continued.

“It’s not only that, I mean I haven’t done ANY of this before.” I paused, hoping that Edward would say something that would save me from the verbal diarrhea I could feel coming on, but he was just staring at me with his mouth slightly open. The way he was looking at me made me even more nervous and scared and embarrassed and I couldn’t help the words that pitifully trickled out of my mouth.

“I’ve never been held before, no one has ever touched me like you have, or looked at me the way you have. I’ve never had a man in my bed before you, never had anyone wrap their arms around me, take me out on a date or tell me I was beautiful until I met you. No one has ever looked at me twice before you came along.  When I say I haven’t done any of it, I mean it Edward. ”

“How is that possible?”

“I was never really given any other option,” I said low, under my breath.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that the opportunity never presented itself,”

“But how has it never…”

“No one has ever wanted me, Edward,” I said in a tiny, pitiful voice that showcased all my shame and loneliness, “and I don’t really blame them. Not even Jake wanted me that way. He just wanted someone who could get him off, and he didn’t care who it was.”

We sat in silence for a while before I let my inner monologue free.

“Who would want to admit that they’re a 28 year old virgin, let alone someone who has never, ever been wanted by someone else?” My voice was barely above a whisper and slurred with sadness.

“Bella, I…”

“It’s ok Edward, I understand if you’re freaked out and, you know, want to leave,” I said as I started to crawl out of bed. Edward hurriedly threw his arms around my waist, pulling me back into his arms. He laid me down on my back as he looked down at me, wiping my tears away with his thumb.

“When will you understand my feelings for you, what you mean to me and how much I want to be with you? I don’t care that you’re a virgin. To be honest, it makes me happy that no one but me has touched you like this. I just wish that you trusted me enough to tell me before you started to panic.”

“I was scared.”

“Of what?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m doing, and when you kiss me or touch me, I start to freak out. I’m scared that I’ll do something wrong, or that it’ll be horrible and you’ll never want to see me again. I’m just embarrassed because I don’t want you to reject me, but it’s inevitable.”

“Bella, do you trust me?” I looked him in the eyes and saw the trust and hope as I nodded my head.

“Then there’s no reason to be scared. We’ll go as slow or as fast as you want. We’ll work together to make sure that you’re ready and comfortable before we do anything. And believe me, it would never be horrible between us, not with how we feel about each other.”

I pulled him closer and tighter to me, burying my face into his neck and planted a soft kiss behind his ear. “Thank you” I whispered against his skin. He pulled back and kissed me lovingly on my lips.

“Come on,” he said as he snuggled deeper into the bed, “let’s go to sleep”.  He laid down beside me, pulling my front into his chest, holding me. Edward placed a single kiss on my forehead before he pulled me tighter against him, burying my face under his chin.

I couldn’t believe he stayed.