Chapter 16

 Hello all, 

I hope all my American readers had a great Thanksgiving. I wanted to apologize for the delay in this chapter. Again, life is refusing to go the way I plan. But regardless, here is CH 16 and the outfits. 

Also, I must say how completely honoured I am by the constant support MtLA has been getting. And as such, I wanted to say thank you. 

So...I have 2 rewards for you lovely readers. 

Reward #1 - whoever hits review 800 (on Twilighted) will get a preview of the next chapter in its entirety, before it even goes to my beta and I will answer any 3 questions they wish to ask.

 

Reward #2 - whoever hits review 1000 (on Twilighted) will get an EPOV of ANY chapter they choose. 

Although this might sound like a scheme to get more reviews, please view it as a thank you for your encouraging words of support. 

~JustTry

Chapter 16 text

Sunday July 18

I sat on my back porch, early in the morning, staring down at my phone in my hand. I hadn’t slept all night, missing Edward terribly, and as such, had been up for hours. I could just barely hear the rest of the world beginning to wake and realized that if I wanted to talk to him today, I needed to talk to him now, before he left the house.

I picked up my cup of coffee from my patio table, took a large gulp of the now lukewarm liquid before turning my attention back to the phone in my hand. I wanted to talk to him, I missed him, but there were certain things that I didn’t want to talk about this morning that I knew he would bring up. Still, I needed to call him, there were things that I needed to tell him, wanted to tell him. I looked at my phone one last time, noting the time as 6:23am before my fingers dialed the number I knew as well as my own.

“Hello?”

“Hey, dad.”

“Bells? What are you doing calling so early? Is everything alright?”

“Yea, dad. Everything’s fine. I just wanted to catch you before you left to go fishing for the day.”

“Well it’s good to hear from you, Kiddo. I was starting to think you didn’t want to talk to me or something.”

I immediately felt guilty for not calling Charlie in almost three weeks. But with the horrific lunch with Alice and Jasper, and everything that had been going on with Edward, our weekly Sunday conversations had taken a spot on the backburner.

“I know, I’m sorry dad. Things have kinda been busy lately.”

“Really?” I rolled my eyes at his comment, even though I knew he couldn’t see me. Does he have to sound so surprised?

“Yea, with Alice’s wedding, and…um…everything, I’ve kinda been preoccupied.”

“And everything…what’s going on, Bella? You sound nervous. Are you sure everything’s ok?”

“Yea…I…um…” silence rang through the phone as Charlie waited patiently for me to continue. “I, um, kinda met someone.”

“Really?” Again, he reacted like I had just told him that I grew a second head.

“Um…yea. We met at Alice’s wedding.” I swore that I could hear a little snicker on the other side of the phone before he continued.

“Ok then, well, what’s the guy’s name?” Why did it sound like he didn’t believe me?

“Edward?” I answered unsure of myself due to Charlie’s doubtful inquisition.

“Edward, huh. Well, what does this ‘Edward’ do?” It was amazing but I could actually hear the quotations around Edward’s name. Charlie really didn’t believe me.

“He’s a doctor at Seattle Children’s Hospital.”

“Right, and what kind of doctor is he?”

I was really getting pissed. It seemed like Charlie was looking for holes in my story to try and prove that I was making everything up.

“He’s a musical therapist in the rehabilitation ward and works in the ER when needed.”

“So he’s a therapist and a surgeon?”

“Yes,” I said, finally with some strength behind my voice.

“And you met him at Alice’s wedding.”

“Yes”

“How does SuperDoc know Alice?”

“SuperDoc?”

“Well, being a musical therapist and surgeon at a children’s hospital sure sounds impressive to me, Bells.” Again, I could hear the mocking and jabbing laughter in his voice.

“Yea, it is really impressive, and that’s how he knows Alice. Her husband, Jasper, works with Edward at the hospital.”

There was a rush of air into the phone, followed by a soft “sure he does”, which I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to hear.

“Dad?” I asked with anger lacing my voice, “why does it sound like you don’t believe me?”

“Well, come on, Bella. SuperDoc sounds too good to be true. And let’s be honest, you don’t really have that much experience dating and haven’t really been attracting the attention of the opposite sex for quite a while. It’s just hard to believe that this amazing man would just pop into your life like that. Have you actually talked to him since the wedding?”

I couldn’t believe what my father was saying. Not only did he not believe me about Edward, but he was actually insulting me by basically saying that there was no way that I could attract a man. I knew that I thought that Edward was too good for me and that I often doubted and questioned what he saw in me, but it was different coming from someone else.

I didn’t say anything to Charlie. I didn’t know what to say. Tears were streaming down my face at the doubt and ridicule coming from my own father.

“Listen, Bells,” he blurted, complete indifference behind his voice, “I gotta go. Billy and I are taking Jake out fishing this morning. That kid’s become quite the young man. Did I tell you that he opened up his own shop with some of his friends and that he’s dating this hot little pistol from Port Angeles? Man, she’s a looker. Things are really going well for him. I’m proud of the kid. He’s such a hard worker and has great goals in life. He’s actually making something of himself and he didn’t bother wasting his time and money going to College. He knew what he wanted and went for it. He’s so driven and…”

I had to stop listening to the praise Charlie was dolling out for someone else’s child. My heart broke at how he was talking about Jacob. Not only was my heart slowly burning simply due to the fact that he mentioned Jake in the first place, but the realization that Charlie had never once told me he was proud of me. He was beaming with pride over someone else’s kid, and that he had never spoken with such enthusiasm about me or my life, ever…it crippled me. I didn’t even say ‘goodbye’ to Charlie. I just ended the call, hanging up on him quickly before my sob emerged.

Charlie always brought up Billy and Jacob when we talked, and I had prepared myself for it, like I did every Sunday, but this was different. The dignity and respect he had for Jacob made it sound like he wished he was his father, instead of mine. And the way he simply dismissed my Edward news, I was devastated.  So not only was I still a lonely, depressed virgin, who was just starting to become somewhat happy, thanks to Edward, I now had my father’s disappointment and disbelief to add to my no longer growing self-esteem. I honestly didn’t know when I could talk to Charlie again without feeling hurt.  

I grabbed my phone, wiped away my tears and walked straight up to bed. The sadness and self-doubt that had come from the phone call had left me drained and tired. I pulled back the covers and flopped into bed, luckily still in my pajamas. Tears continued to stream down my face until I eventually fell asleep.

I dreamt of my conversation with Charlie over and over, analyzing every sound, intonation and word spoken, and unspoken. My sleep was restless, tossing and turning until the ringing of my phone finally woke me up completely.

I sniffled and swatted my remaining tears as I looked at the caller ID. Edward. I sniffled one more time before I picked up.

“Hey,” I whispered, hoping to hide my broken voice from him.

“Hey, beautiful. Did I wake you up?” I could tell he was smiling and although it relieved some of the ache caused by Charlie, it made more tears come due to our separation.

“No,” I automatically sniffled and immediately regretted it, “I’ve…um…been up for hours.”

“Bella, what’s wrong?” The urgency and concern in his voice made the lump in my throat larger as I struggled to tell him the truth. I didn’t want to lie to Edward, I never wanted to be dishonest with him. I knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of that and I didn’t want that for him, for anyone.

“I called my dad this morning and it didn’t go so well.” The tears had slowed, but were still blurring my vision. I squeezed my eyes tight, causing them to spill over. Edward remained silent as he waited for me to continue, but when I didn’t, he supportively jumped in.

“You want to talk about it?”

“It’s just that,” I paused, trying to collect myself before I continued, “I told him about how I was seeing someone, about us, about you, and he didn’t believe me.”

“What?” Edward asked. “How could he not believe you?”

“He basically said a SuperDoc like you would never be interested in someone like me.”

“SuperDoc?”

“Yea,” I pouted, “that’s what he called you.”

There was silence again on the phone and I was starting to hate it. The tears were wetting my cheeks and chin and Charlie’s words were actually starting to take root in my head.

“Bella,” Edward whispered tenderly, “please don’t let the words of an ignorant man ruin the progress we’ve made. You know how I feel about you. We’ve talked about this and I tell you all the time.” I nodded along with him, knowing the truth behind his words, but still recognizing on some level that Charlie was right. 

“There’s more,” I whispered. “He was telling me about…Jake,” I had to stop to swallow the lump in my throat, “…and how proud he was and how much respect he had for him. In not so many words, he basically said I was lying and delusional and that he wished Jake was his child instead of me.”

“Oh, Bella. That can’t be what he meant. He’s your father, he loves you.” I could hear the pain in Edward’s voice at how hurt I was.

“He may… not have said… the words… but that’s the feeling… I got from them.” I was full on crying by now, sobbing between words and going through tissue after tissue trying to stop the waterworks running down my face and onto my lap. “Why am...I…not good…enough?”

“Bella, you are! You are good enough. You’re amazing. He just doesn’t see it. He doesn’t know you.” Edward stated. “Do you want me to call him and talk to him?”

“NO!” I pushed out on a sob, “I don’t want to talk to him.”

“You won’t have to, I’ll talk to him. Prove to him how I feel about you and tell him how wonderful you are and how proud I am of you.”

“No, Edward,” I squeezed my eyes shut again and shook my head back and forth, “thanks…but no. I’ll be ok. It just hurts that I’m not enough for him.” We were both silent for a couple of seconds before I could hear someone calling his name in the background.

“You have to go,” I told him weakly as I curled back in on myself, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore anyway.”

“Ok,” he whispered, “just try not to think about it anymore. I’ll see you tonight after work ok?”

“Ok.”

Edward and I said our ‘goodbye’s’ before we hung up and I went back to my sulking. I knew that Charlie had no clue about what was going on with me. I’d be surprised if he even knew what subject I taught. He had only ever come out to see me once since I left Forks, and that was for my graduation. He saw Billy and…him… every week, so of course he felt more paternal towards…him… than he did me, but it hurt nonetheless. And as for Edward and I, I couldn’t ignore the points that Charlie made, that ‘SuperDoc’ was too good to be true, and that it did sound unrealistic after all these years of complete nothing, that someone like Edward would choose to be with me.

I didn’t really know what to do with my day, with myself. I had done all my grading and chores yesterday and wasn’t in the mood to leave the house. I decided that it was a good day for doing nothing. I changed out of my pajamas into a pair of lounge pants and a tank top and plopped down on my couch for a Harry Potter marathon. I had popped a bag of microwave popcorn to substitute my breakfast and lunch, and was just getting into the second movie when my doorbell rang.

Reluctantly, I paused the movie and made my way to the door.

“Hello?” I asked the young delivery man who wasstanding uncomfortably on my landing.

“Isabella Swan?” he inquired as he checked my name on a clip board and I nodded in reply. He asked for my signature and pressed a large white box with a navy blue bow on top into my hands. I shut the door and made my way back to the couch, placing the mystery box on the coffee table. I noticed a small envelope with my name typed on the outside. I slowly pulled the envelope out from underneath the bow and opened it.

My beautiful Bella,

I am so sorry you’ve had a rough morning and that I’m not there to make your pain go away. Please know that I miss you and wish I was with you. I hope this tides you over until I can hold you in my arms.

Hugs and kisses

Yours,

Edward.

I placed the note on the table and proceeded to open the box. There inside was a large white teddy bear surrounded by dozens upon dozens of Hershey’s kisses. I pulled out the bear, which was about a foot tall and started laughing. He was fluffy with a red and blue bow around his neck and he was wearing a white t-shirt that read ‘Someone to hug when I can’t be there’. The emotions behind Edward’s gift made my eyes burn and my heart race. He really does care.

Every doubt that Charlie placed in my mind was gone. Edward was real, his actions were real, how he felt about me was real and so was how I felt about him. It was unsettling how much I cared for this man and how much I longed to be with him. I was scared, of course, to get too attached, knowing that this couldn’t possibly last and dreading how much it would hurt when it finally ended, but I was trying. Trying so hard to enjoy being with Edward, however limited our time together would be.

I settled back in to the couch after grabbing a bowl from the kitchen and poured the kisses into it. I grabbed my teddy, hugged him close and continued watching my movie, completely indulging on the chocolates Edward had given me.

I had gotten up a couple times during the day for bathroom runs, a refill of water, or juice, and to change the DVD from the second movie, to the third and finally to the forth. I had literally spent all day in lounge pants and a tank top, eating chocolate and popcorn, watching movies. I had never felt more dejected, or more like a sloth.

The light outside my window was setting and I had to pause the movie to get something substantial in my stomach, having only eaten junk all day. I slowly moved to the kitchen, stretching my arms above my head and stretching my neck and back on the way. I got out a bag of frozen vegetables and a piece of chicken from the freezer and some pasta and cream of mushroom soup from the cupboard and made a casserole. It didn’t take too long to get the chicken cooked and the pasta boiled and soon, everything was simmering on the stovetop. I set the timer on the microwave for 30 minutes and went back to the movie.

About five minutes back into the movie, a light shone into my front window, quickly followed by another. I turned around on the couch, looking outside, to find the most amazing sight. I jumped from the couch, threw open the door and ran full on into Edward’s arms.

“Whoa,” he laughed as he stumbled back a bit from my attack, bumping into the hood of his car, “you ok there, Bella?”

“Now I am,” I whispered as I held him as tightly as I could around his waist and pressed my face into his chest. “Just hold me.”

“Forever,” he softly spoke into the top of my head as his arms held me firmly around the shoulders, bringing me closer to him.

Although I had had a rough day, a horrible conversation with my father and had realized how doomed my relationship with Edward would inevitably be, I still missed having someone hold me and tell me that everything would be alright. We stayed there in my driveway, just holding each other. I would sporadically place small kisses on Edward’s chest, while he would pepper them into my hair at the top of my head. Eventually, our lips met in a needy and comforting way.

“Rough day?” he asked as he rested his forehead against mine.

I closed my eyes, relaxing deeper into Edward and nodded.

“Ok,” he said as he placed a light kiss over each of my closed eyes. I had never had anyone kiss my eyes before, and although it felt strange, it felt loving, as if he were taking care of me, which was, I hated to admit, what I needed right now. “Let’s go inside.”

I nodded again as I pulled my head back, but kept my arms wrapped around his torso. I knew that I was being a clingy, needy girlfriend, but I did need him. I needed the reassurance that Charlie was an idiot and that SuperDoc had actually chosen me.

Edward wrapped his left arm over my shoulder and pulled me tighter into his side as he picked up his bag that he apparently dropped when I attacked him, and walked me into my house.

“It smells great in here.”

“Thanks,” I said as I regrettably separated from Edward, allowing him to put down his bag and untie his shoes. “You have perfect timing, dinner should be ready in about 10 minutes.”

“Excellent,” Edward whispered as he kissed me. “You go sit down and continue watching…”  Edward leaned into the living room and laughed when he saw Harry sitting in the bathtub, holding a large golden egg, “Harry Potter, and I’ll go set the table.”

I tried to protest, but Edward’s lips on mine stopped me. He told me I had a rough day and that he just wanted to help me relax. So with some additional persuading, care of Edward’s lips, I found myself cuddled back on the couch, holding my fluffy ‘Edward substitute’ teddy bear, until the real one returned to me.

Edward had just sat down and pulled me to lie against his chest when the timer went off, indicating that dinner was done. We paused the movie and grabbed our bowls, forks and drinks, scooped the thick casserole into our dishes and, deciding to actually eat cuddled together on the couch instead of at the table, made our way back into the living room.

Edward sat on the right side of the couch, moaning and groaning as he shoveled forkful after forkful of food into his mouth. I sat beside him in the middle of the couch, laughing away at him and eating my meal at a normal speed, making sure not to burn my mouth.

We both went up for seconds, and Edward went up for a third, before we changed the disk and decided to continue with the Harry Potter marathon. I was sitting against the left side of the couch, resting against the arm rest, when Edward returned from taking the dishes into the kitchen. He plopped down on the couch, immediately flopping down on his left side and laid his head in my lap.

We stared at each other without saying a word. I was sure Edward was wondering if his position in my lap was ok as I had completely frozen and stiffened above him. Slowly, he raised his left hand and took my right in his, then he planted a soft kiss on my palm before turning back towards the TV. He held my hand close to him, playing with my fingers as the movie started. Eventually, Edward stopped playing with my fingers, and his breathing softened. I relaxed into the couch, realizing he had fallen asleep and found myself combing the fingers of my left hand through his hair. 

I stared down at the man whose head was resting in my lap. His lips were slightly parted, his hair a mess because of my fingers and his chest gently rising and falling. I think I could fall in love with this man. The thought stirred so many conflicting emotions in me; intrigue at how different the emotions were that I felt for Edward from what I had felt for Jake, surprise in myself that I had actually opened myself up to the possibility of being with someone and trusting someone besides Alice, fear that these emotions would only make things more confusing and more difficult in the end and sadness in the realization that Edward would never feel the same way about me.

Was he interested in me? Obviously. Affectionate towards me? Apparently. Attracted to me? Allegedly. But could he love me? No.

CH 16 Teaser

Hello my lovelies, 

Here's the teaser for CH 16. I must warn you, it's a hard one. Sad Bella has returned, but with VERY good cause. 

~~~

“Bella, what’s wrong?” The urgency and concern in his voice made the lump in my throat larger as I struggled to tell him the truth. I didn’t want to lie to Edward, I never wanted to be dishonest with him. I knew what it felt like to be on the receiving end of that and I didn’t want that for him, for anyone.

“I called my dad this morning and it didn’t go so well.” The tears had slowed, but were still blurring my vision. I squeezed my eyes tight, causing them to spill over. Edward remained silent as he waited for me to continue, but when I didn’t, he supportively jumped in.

“You want to talk about it?”

“It’s just that,” I paused, trying to collect myself before I continued, “I told him about how I was seeing someone, about us, about you, and he didn’t believe me.”

“What?” Edward asked with confusion evident in his voice, “how could he not believe you?”

“He basically said a SuperDoc like you would never be interested in someone like me.”

~JustTry

Chapter 15

Hello my friends, we meet again. 

Here is the next chapter of our little journey. I've been getting a lot of mixed reviews lately, some saying that they're glad at how things are going, some saying that things are moving FAR too slow, some saying that this story is just completely unrealistic and saying that they're going to stop reading if it doesn't move faster and some saying that they wish they had an Edward of their own. 

I just wanted to say that although I don't always agree with the reviews that are left, I'm am so very thankful that people are reading the story. With that being said, a lot of you might not like this chapter. I hope, however that you see the bigger picture. 

As always, thanks to evilangel6714 for helping me so much with this chapter and for your amazing support.

And now, here's CH 15, the outfits and the extras. 

~JustTry 

CH 15 text

Saturday, July 17th

It was an odd feeling waking up with a smile on my face, especially knowing that Edward wasn’t beside me. But it was something that I couldn’t stop from happening.

Edward had called me back last night during a brief 10 minute downtime he had to reassure me about everything we had talked about that morning. He also invited me on a lunch date today. I was supposed to meet him at the hospital at 11:30, and we were going to have a picnic lunch at the park just down the street from the hospital, at which time, unbeknownst to Edward, I would give him the keys to my house.  

I jumped out of bed and proceeded with my morning routine of washing, brushing and dressing. It was difficult, however, to continue with the final part of the routine. I didn’t know what to wear to our picnic lunch. I knew that jeans and a t-shirt would have been perfectly fine, but I wanted to look nice for Edward. I thought that maybe if I looked somewhat pretty, he wouldn’t freak out and reject the key as quickly.

I stood there, staring at the clothes in my closet and wished for the fifth time in as many days that Alice was here. I never realized how much I needed her and couldn’t have imagined how much I would miss her. I stared at the mass of colors and materials that Alice had supplied me with over the years and wished that I had her magic clothing touch.

I slowly brushed my fingers over my clothes, moving from sweaters, to t-shirts, to tank tops, to dresses and ended on skirts. My hand brushed over a particular piece of clothing and stopped. It was a light gray skirt that had burgundy, yellow and different shades of gray circles all over it. I pulled it out of the closet and looked at it, trying to remember when I got it. It, of course, was a skirt that Alice had bought me, as it was definitely not something that I would have pulled off the racks myself. I unclipped the hanger, allowing the skirt to fall onto my bed and went to my tank top section to find the matching burgundy top that went with it. Alice had told me, when we got the outfit for the graduation party that Emmett was throwing, that the color made my skin look like cream.

I smiled at the memory, missing Alice terribly and quickly changed into the outfit. It was already a little after 10am by the time I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. I had told Edward that I would be bringing our picnic since he provided the last one. But after pouring myself a coffee and eating a granola bar for breakfast, I realized that I would have to do a little creative cooking with the scraps of ingredients I had in the house.  

I pulled out some bread from the freezer, along with the peanut butter from the cupboard and jam from the fridge to make some sandwiches. I grabbed some grapes, some crackers and cheese and the left over rice, vegetables and chicken from Edward’s BBQ. I chopped up the chicken, the rest of the grilled vegetables and mixed it with the rice, salsa from the fridge and topped it with some cheese. It wasn’t a ‘salad’ per say, but would work as a side dish to the PB&J sandwiches. I put everything in the fridge to stay cold, then I sat at my kitchen table and read the paper before I packed everything up and headed to my truck.

I took the bridge across the Lake Washington Ship Canal towards the Seattle Children’s Hospital with the food and juice packed in a cooler on the seat beside me and the extra set of house keys burning a hole in the bottom of my purse. I made the quick trip to the parking lot of the hospital, gathered everything up and followed Edward’s directions through the hospital and over to the Rehabilitation Wing.

I slowly walked up to the reception desk, behind it sat a larger, red haired, older woman on the phone. I readjusted the cooler strap on my left shoulder and patiently waited for her to finish with her call.

“Sorry about that,” she smiled at me as she hung up the phone, “how can I help you?”

“I’m here to see…Edwa…Dr. Cullen?” I stumbled over my words, not really sure how to address Edward in his work environment.

“Are you here for a consultation or to see a patient of his?” she asked with a skeptic look on her face.

“No…um…I’m...his…well…we’re kinda…” Oh God…shoot me now.

“She’s with me, Edna.” I whipped my head around at the familiar voice coming from behind me. Edward was down the hall, walking straight towards us with a crooked smile plastered on his face. He looked absolutely incredible. He was wearing some brown trousers with a blue and brown stripped button up shirt.

“Oh, sorry Dr. Cullen. I didn’t realize…”

“It’s ok Edna, don’t worry about it,” Edward said as he saddled up beside me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “Hi, beautiful,” he whispered as he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. My face erupted in a bright red blush.

“Bella,” he said, unwrapping his arms from around me but allowing his left arm to remain around my waist to pull me closer into his side, “this is Edna Cope, the sweetest and kindest assistant anyone could ask for. Mrs. Cope, this is my girlfriend, Bella Swan.”

My eyes instantly shot up to Edward. Girlfriend!?!?!?! Did he just call me his girlfriend? That’s the first time I’ve ever been introduced to someone like that. I stared up at Edward as he looked down at me. His beautiful green eyes were shining brightly as his smile grew larger and more hopeful by the second. He slowly leaned down and planted another soft and tender kiss on my forehead. My blush deepened as I lowered my face to the ground.

“Oh my, well it’s definitely a pleasure to meet you Bella.” Mrs. Cope smiled at us as Edward tightened his hold around me. All I could do was quickly smile up at the kind old lady and just as quickly, avert my eyes back to the ground.

“Come on,” Edward whispered to me as he started to pull me away from reception. “We’re going out for lunch Edna. I’ll be back in about an hour.”

“Ok, well you kids have fun.” I could hear the smile in her voice as Edward and I walked further away.

“It was nice to meet you,” I whispered to Mrs. Cope as Edward lowered his left arm from around me and entwined our hands. He gave mine a little squeeze as we made our way out of the Rehabilitation Wing and back through the hospital.

“So, how was your morning,” Edward asked as he nodded at fellow doctors we passed in the hallways.

“It was good.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my face at remembering the conversation we had last night and the surprise I had waiting for him. And although I was excited at the idea of Edward having a key to my house, I was still extremely nervous.

“Here,” he said, letting go of my hand so he could grab the cooler from me, “let me take that.”

Edward and I walked hand in hand through the hospital and out the front doors. He told me about his morning, some of the patients he had seen and the events from yesterday in the ER as we walked down the street. Not three blocks later, we were at the entrance to Laurelhurst Park.

The park was beautiful, and huge! There was a playground with kids playing on the jungle gym, being pushed on swings and playing in the sand. There were open fields where kids were running around kicking a soccer ball, small gardens everywhere, tennis courts and tall trees covering park benches. A smile lit up my face as Edward and I walked through the park, smiling at the kids playing and the sun shining down on us.

Edward pulled me along, past the playground and a bank of trees by the tennis courts, to a small meadow hidden near the edge of the park. It was absolutely beautiful. The meadow was nestled in a nook of trees, behind the tennis courts and almost hidden in the shade. We walked through the field of sparsely scattered wild flowers and sat in the corner, hidden away from the rest of the world in the small slice of sun that shone through the branches above. It was almost like our own oasis, close enough to the rest of the park that we could still hear the laughter of the kids playing, but private enough that we could talk without worrying about someone overhearing us.

“So…” Edward started as he put down the cooler and lowered himself onto the grass, gently pulling me down beside him. “What do you think?” he finished, wrapping his left arm around my waist and pulling me closer.

“Edward, it’s beautiful.”

“It’s not beautiful, Bella. It’s just a field.” He reached over with his right hand to capture my chin and turned my face to look at him, “You’re beautiful.” He looked deep into my eyes before he lowered his lips to mine. His soft touch immediately sent warmth through my entire body, our lips gently pressing against each other as he held me securely in his arms.

Edward slowly pulled back, kissed the tip of my nose and pulled me to lean against his chest.

“So what did you bring for lunch?” he asked as he reached over and opened the cooler. His face shone brightly as he pulled out the lemonade drinking boxes and PB&J sandwiches. He looked like such a child, completely ecstatic about our juvenile lunch.

We ate our sandwiches, smiling and laughing, while Edward randomly fed me grapes. We were both surprised at how good the rice concoction I had made was and dug our individual forks into the single dish until it was empty.

Once the meal was done, we sat in silence, enjoying the small glimmer of sunshine and the faint sounds coming from the rest of the park. I was sitting on Edward’s left side, leaning into him as he gently ran his hand up and down my waist. Images from Thursday night came back to me as his hand traced over the bare skin between my skirt and top. A soft shiver ran through my body.

“You ok?” Edward asked into my hair as he placed a soft kiss on the top of my head.

“Yea…I just,” I paused and realized just how embarrassed I was about how I acted the last time Edward and I were together. “I was just thinking about what happened Thursday night. I’m so ashamed about how I acted.” I lowered my head to look at our entwined hands which were sitting in my lap. “I know that you didn’t do anything to warrant my reaction and that you weren’t pushing me, I just…I don’t know.”

Edward pulled back and turned to face me. He held both my hands securely in his as he looked me straight in the eyes.

“Bella, you’re completely justified in your concerns. If you felt uncomfortable, you had every right to stop me. You have nothing to be ashamed about.”

I just nodded at him as I lowered my head to stare at the grass. Edward, however, wouldn’t have it.

“Hey,” he started as he pushed my chin up so I was looking at him, “no hiding.” Again, I just nodded at him.

“I want to be with you Bella, in whatever way you’ll allow me to. I just want to make you happy.” The words from Edward’s note came rushing back into my head, him saying that he’ll take whatever I would be willing to give. A small smile spread across my lips. It continued to surprise me, how much he cared for me.

Edward slowly leaned in and pressed his lips to mine, immediately quelling my fears. The kiss was innocent and patient and a happy sigh left my lips. Edward drew back to look at me with a similar small smile and pulled me down with him to lie on the grass. We were facing each other, his hands gently cupping my face as I rested my hands on his firm chest.

Edward leaned in again, and placed one more tender kiss on my lips before he pulled me to rest my head on his chest. We both simply laid there under the sun, staring up at the clouds, not saying anything to each other, just enjoying each other’s presence. I could hear his heart beating in his chest as he stroked his hand up and down my arm.

Although the silence was calming and relaxing, it brought with it immense pressure and anxiety. What if he doesn’t want the key? I thought, as I tried to figure out how I was going to give it to him. His hour lunch was quickly coming to an end and it was the perfect time to give him the key. Finally with one last mental pep talk, I took a deep breath and rolled off Edward’s chest to grab my purse from behind me. I opened the zipper, reached my hand in and removed the keys to my front and back door. I squeezed the keys tightly in my hand as I rolled back to Edward and sat up facing him, holding my right hand closely to my chest.

Edward sat up along with me and gave me a quizzical look.

“I have something for you” I said tentatively, my voice coming out weaker than I was hoping it would.

“You do?” he joked back with me, making me chuckle lightly under my breath.

“I know that I hurt your feelings the other day, making you feel like I don’t trust you. Making it seem like I don’t trust us together. But I do, Edward. I trust you completely. I just don’t trust myself.”

“Bella, there’s nothing to be worried about. You just need to stop over-thinking it and trust your instincts.”

“That’s what I’m doing.” I took another deep breath and pulled my hand away from my chest and held it out to him. I didn’t open my fist though, quickly doubting what I was doing. He’s going to think this is too fast.

Edward looked between my eyes and my outstretched fist in question and I just nodded. He took my closed right hand and brought it to his lips for a soft kiss. Immediately, my heart swelled at his gentleness and I wished above all that I was doing the right thing. He held my hand in both of his as he slipped his thumbs under my closed fingers to open my hand. There, lying in the middle of my palm was a bright new shiny set of house keys for my place. He looked at me and smiled.

“These are for me?” he asked, his eyes shining brightly and excitement evident in his voice.

“Is that ok?” I asked after I nodded to his question.

“It’s more than ok, Bella.” He answered with a breathtaking smile. He softly picked up the keys and examined them as if they held the secrets to the world.

“I just thought it would be easier than waking me up to let you in at the end of your shift. Also, you won’t need to steal my keys anymore”.

Edward eagerly leaned in and kissed me deeply. I could feel us both smiling against each other’s lips and it made the kiss awkward, but neither of us were willing to pull away. This was a huge step for me to take, and I did it without over analyzing it and he was happy about it.

“Thank you for trusting me,” he whispered against my lips as he pulled back and hugged me tightly in his arms. I could feel the tears building behind my eyes at how touched Edward sounded.

Edward helped me up to my feet, kissing me once more and then we packed up our picnic. We walked back to the hospital parking lot hand in hand, both of us with ridiculous smiles on our faces. Edward walked me directly to my truck, opening the door for me, then he helped me up onto the bench seat.

“Thank you,” he whispered as he leaned into the cab of my truck and placed a kiss on my forehead. Edward pulled back and cupped by face before giving me one last kiss.

I drove back home, incredibly relieved that the keys were so well received. I unlocked the front door of my townhouse, entered my living room and immediately flopped on the couch. I couldn’t believe how much lighter I felt after my stress from yesterday and this morning. Edward could clearly see how much this meant to me and how much I had been worrying about this.

Edward had to work until 6:00pm but he promised that he would come over after his shift. He wanted to take me out to celebrate. He decided that our celebration would be something lighthearted and fun. We were going bowling and getting pizza.

I hadn’t been bowling in years but I knew that no matter how much I sucked, Edward would make sure I had fun. For now though, the fun had to wait. I had promised my students that I would have their stories completely marked and ready to hand back to them by Monday and I desperately needed to mop, vacuum and mow the back yard.

So with some hesitation, I changed out of my skirt and into some denim shorts and proceeded with my chore filled Saturday. In next to no time I had completed all my marking, tabulating the student’s grades,  had vacuumed the living room, the steps, the upstairs hall, the bedroom and my office and was currently mowing the backyard with my push mower. I didn’t have a lot of grass, but it was enough to tire me out with just the manual mower. I finished the lawn as quickly as possible and proceeded to my final task of the day; sweeping and moping the front hall and kitchen.

I was completely lost in my chore and had lost all sense of time until a smile broke out on my face. I heard the sound of keys rattling with the lock in my front door. He was here.

I placed the mop against the back counter of the kitchen and rushed into the front hall just in time to see the bolt move in the lock and the door knob turn. I stood there as the door pushed open the tiniest bit.

Edward slowly peeked his head around the door with a sly smile. I couldn’t hide the smile that immediately spread across my face as I stood there waiting for Edward to fully come in. Our eyes held as he came towards me, dropping his keys on the floor and wrapping me tightly in his arms. I could feel his lips pressing against the right side of my neck, peppering over my chin and finally pressing deeply against mine. He captured my bottom lip between both of his and kissed me with evident longing and desire. He slowly ran his tongue over my bottom lip and I hesitantly opened to him.

His warm breath flowed into my mouth as his tongue found mine. The taste, the feel and the pressure of him in my mouth sent hot chills through my chest. Edward kissed me deeply, slowly massaging my tongue with his as his lips captured mine over and over, lightly pulling my mouth closer to his. My hands, without any permission from my brain, ran from around his waist, up his chest to around his neck and into his hair. I could hear a soft moan bubbling within me as Edward slowed the kiss, withdrawing his tongue and tenderly capturing my lips one last time with his.

“You have no idea how wonderful that feels,” he breathed as he pulled back and rested his forehead against mine, “being able to let myself into your house.” He softly kissed me as he whispered “thank you” against my lips.

Edward went back to the door, not letting go of my right hand and picked up his keys off the floor before following me into the living room where he pulled me down with him onto the couch.

“So are you ready to do some celebrating?” he asked as he pulled me deeper into his side and placed a kiss on my right temple.

“Yea, just let me jump in the shower and get the grass and dirt off me.”

I pushed myself off the couch and made my way upstairs, stopping in my bedroom for my bathrobe before jumping in the shower. I did a quick wash and was out, wrapping my hair in a towel less than five minutes later. I made my way into my bedroom to get changed into simple jeans and a tank top, remembering at the last minute to bring along socks for bowling, then I threw my hair into a ponytail and rushed back downstairs to rejoin Edward on the couch.

As I turned the corner on the landing, I saw Edward lying on his back reading the paper from the coffee table, completely taking up the entire couch. He folded the paper back up upon hearing my footsteps on the floor, placed it back on the table and held his left hand out for me. I walked over to him and he pulled me down directly on top of him and immediately caged me in his arms. I let out a small screech in surprise but froze as soon as our chests pressed together. Images from Thursday night once again flashed in my head as I tried to calm my nerves and relax into Edward.

All he did was hold me though. His arms were gently wrapped around my back, far away from the exposed skin at my waist and his face was turned into the right side of my neck. He didn’t move, didn’t kiss me, he just held me in his arms. The fear and memories slowly faded away and I was able to relax against his chest and even turned my face into the right side of his neck. I took a deep, calming breath of Edward’s smell and sunk lower into his comforting embrace, for which I was suddenly, unbelievably grateful.

“You ready?” he whispered softly below my ear. I nodded before slowly leaning back and staring him in the eyes. There was nothing there but sincerity and kindness, and I couldn’t help but lean down and kiss him.

“What was that for?” he asked as I pulled away.

“Just for being you.”

We stared at each other for a minute before he gently helped me roll off him and stand up. I held my hand out to him and helped him up before we made our way out the door.

Edward drove us to the bowling alley, holding my hand over the console the entire time.  We made our way to the cashier, where Edward paid for the lane and shoe rentals. I had to try on three different sizes before I found one that actually fit right. It felt weird wearing the bowling shoes, and kinda gross knowing that ‘X’ amount of people had worn them before me. I was just thankful that I remembered socks, thick socks at that.

“Ok, beautiful,” Edward said as he finished tying up his shoes, “you go get yourself a ball, and I’ll order the pizza.” He got up from his seat at the scoreboard, gave me a quick kiss on the lips and was off to the shady looking concession stand. I followed suit, getting up and making my way to the rack of bowling balls. I was just walking past the scoreboard though, when something made me stop in my tracks.  Edward had set up our lane and had filled in our names. He was listed as “Dr. E” while I was apparently “Beautiful”. The smile on my face grew even larger as I walked past the board, shaking my head, making my way to get a ball.

There were so many bowling balls there, I didn’t really know where to start. There were different colors, some had different numbers written on the side, but they didn’t seem to be organized in any particular order. I examined the vast selection in front of me before picking up a sparkly blue one that caught my eye. Holy shit!!! This sucker’s heavy. I had to use both hands to simply hold the ball. I had no idea how I was supposed to throw it with just one hand. I slipped my fingers in the holes and tried to hold it with just my right hand, but it quickly slipped from my grip and thudded loudly on the floor. A couple of people around me looked at me with confused expressions as I quickly tried to pick the ball up off the ground.

“A little heavy?” Edward’s voice was right beside me as he bent down and picked the ball up for me.

“Um…yea. I have no idea how I’m supposed to bowl with that thing.”

“Well,” he laughed as he placed the ball back on the rack, “that’s because you picked a 14 pound ball. Try a lighter one.”

“What do you mean?” How the hell did he know how much the ball weighed?

“See here?” he asked as he twisted around the blue ball he just put back. A large ‘14’ was painted on the ball, outlined in white bubble numbers. “That tells you how much the ball weighs. Try looking for an ‘8’ or a ‘10’. It’ll be lighter for you to throw.”

Edward and I proceeded to turn all the balls so that the numbers were facing us. There were only two ‘12’ balls left, both dull black, one ‘10’ which was bright green, and no ‘8’’s. I picked up the ‘10’ and figured that it would work. I noticed that Edward grabbed a ‘15’ as we walked back towards our lane.

Edward insisted on stepping up to the lane for some ‘practice throws’ before we actually started the game. I sat back as “Dr. E” held the ball in his right hand, cradling it with his left and confidently walked up to the line before throwing it down the lane. He knocked down 8 pins and then quickly knocked the other two down with his next throw.

“Ok, Bella,” he said as he turned around to take his seat, “your turn.”

I reluctantly got up from my seat, fetched my bright green ball from the ball return thingy and stepped up to the arrows on the lane. I put my fingers in the holes, swung the ball behind me and let it go. Unfortunately, the ball went directly into the gutter. I quietly laughed at myself as I turned around to get my ball for my second practice shot.

“Here,” Edward laughed as he handed me the ball and came to stand behind me at the lane. “You need to make sure your body is facing the pins straight on and that when you swing your arm forward, that you point it at the pins.” As Edward was giving me the directions, he had his hands on my waist, positioning my body properly.

“Ready?” he asked as he stepped away. I took a deep breath and nodded. I slowly swung my arm back, trying to keep it straight and brought it forward, just as slow, making sure that I was pointing down the lane. The ball literally fell from my hands and crawled down the lane. I could have walked faster. The good thing was that I actually knocked down three pins.

“That’s my girl,” Edward smiled as I returned to my seat and we started the game.

Edward and I bowled, laughed and ate for hours. I, of course, lost, but I didn’t care. I had so much fun with him. We returned our balls and shoes and got back in Edward’s Volvo to head home.

“Did you have fun?” he asked as he pulled into my driveway.

“I did, although I completely sucked,” I laughed as we both got out of the car and headed for my front door.

Edward stopped on the landing. He wasn’t spending the night. He had to work again early tomorrow and didn’t have any extra clothes with him. I was completely surprised at how devastated I was that I wouldn’t be sleeping in Edward’s arms again tonight. It was startling how much this man had ingrained himself into my life, how much my happiness was gravitating around him and how much it seemed that I needed him.

With a sweet kiss goodnight, Edward waited for me to get inside before he drove away and left me with confusion in my head, and warmth in my heart.