WOW!!!! I'm honestly speechless at the amount of support I've gotten for CH 11. So many of you have agreed with how traumatic the Bella/Jake situation could potentially be, some even saying that no further explanation would be needed to explain why Bella is the way she is, and some hoping that Edward would have the chance to kick some Jack ass. But as we all know, Bella works at baby steps, and sometimes one step forward means two steps back.
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I sometimes wished that I would have just slept with Jake though, just let him do whatever he wanted with me. It would have sucked not really being wanted and just being used, but at least I would know what it would be like to be touched, marginally desired and perhaps, I wouldn’t be this scared shell I was now. Edward wouldn’t want this, some girl who was emotionally damaged. No one wants to take someone’s virginity, but during a certain age range, it was bound to happen. Edward was 30, would he really want to pop a cherry, or teach someone how to touch or be touched? By this time, I should have already done all this, I should have had these experiences. I should have experienced what it felt like to be naked in front of a man, touched by a man, felt confident enough to trust a man not to hurt me, or laugh at me or ridicule me. I should have felt like a confident and capable adult, but I didn’t. I felt like I was still a kid.
~JustTry
You know, in GreenEyedGirl17's "Falling For You" Bella was quite a few years younger than Edward. He was a divorcee with 2 kids while she was a virgin, and it was a source of drama in there too. She was so sure that he wouldn't want her because she was so inexperienced, and when he found out he thought she was waiting and was mad that she was willing to wait so long and then suddenly jump in bed with him and she mistook his reaction for disgust at her virginal status. (Sorry I only brought that up because that is one of my FAVE stories.)
ReplyDeleteMy point is, you need to really stop second guessing yourself for how Bella is feeling and if it is "realistic" or not. Anyone who doesn't understand why Bella is so depressed has obviously never known what it is like to feel unloved, undesirable, and unwanted. Not to mention, what happened with Jake was a situation of bouncing back and forth for YEARS. That's enough to mess with anyone's self-esteem and mental health. (And I'm not saying she's crazy, but she definitely needs some therapy, but I guess that's what Jasper and Alice are for.)
Sorry so long, I just want you to write this story as you see fit and not be influenced by bad reviews too much.
Poor Bella, I can so relate to what she is going through.. I guess there wont be any Edward in the next chapter?? :( since he said 48 hour shift... but I guess Edward being Edward he is at least gonna call right??
ReplyDeleteCant wait for chapter 12 :D You are amazing..
And even though I usually dont like stories that have Jake as the bad guy I am so hooked by your Bella (I am in the exact same situation.. just minus Edward :( ) that I have to keep reading!!!
Dont let us wait too long, please
Random qn, your recs in the column on the right, the link to 'Not Bad Enough' says it hasn't yet been validated on twilighted. Is it new or available somewhere else?
ReplyDeletecan't wait for the next chapter. I think we can all relate to bella in some ways, as we've all been down and unsure of ourselves before, at least i know i definietly have.
xx
(sunshine.state at ff.net, sugaraddikt at twilighted)