Saturday, July 3rd
I stood in my bathroom, wrapped in a bathrobe, staring at my face in the fogged up mirror. It was 8am and I was already criticizing the normalness of my reflection. There was nothing beautiful or appealing that stood out when you looked at me. I was just…ordinary. Long, flat brown hair that didn’t have body, shine or any style; plain, boring brown eyes that seemed to droop at the outer corners, making me look like I was constantly tired, sad and full of confused and complex emotions; a small ordinary nose and although I did have full lips, my mouth was small, and my bottom lip was a bit larger than my upper which gave me a constant “pout” that I hated. I smiled at my reflection and the image looked wrong. My eyes became smaller, and although my lips got longer, they also got thinner and made my cheeks puff out even more. I wasn’t beautiful, but I wasn’t ugly either. I was just average enough to get by without ever being noticed by anyone. And you wonder why your ‘beautiful’ count is at zero.
I didn’t bother looking any farther below my head; I didn’t even want to start analyzing what was wrong with my body. That would take all day. With a shake of my head to clear my current state of mind, I absentmindedly grabbed my tooth brush and went to work. I didn’t have much time to procrastinate. It was Saturday, July 3rd, one week before Alice’s wedding and we had final preparations and the rehearsal today, followed by the all-so-exciting rehearsal dinner with the wedding party and the parents of the bride and groom.
After finishing up in the bathroom, I dragged myself into my bedroom to get dressed and prepared for the day. I walked to my side dresser, docked my iPhone, selected my “slow” shuffle mix and was instantly surrounded by the heavy base sounds from the song “Angel” by Massive Attack. The pounding rhythm thumped through my body as it floated around my room.
Still wrapped in my bathrobe, I went to my closet to pick out my dress. It was black and knee length with crochet detail down the front and along the bottom. It was simple enough to be comfortable for the long, hot July day, but still fancy enough for the rehearsal and the dinner afterward. I slipped out of my bathrobe, purposely avoiding my reflection in my dresser mirror, and proceeded to get dressed. I paired the outfit with a silver solitaire necklace and small silver hoops, minimal makeup and threw my hair up in a ponytail. This will have to do.
It only took me about 20 minutes to get to The Great Hall, park my truck and make my way to the reception area. Every time I walked into the hall, it took my breath away. The venue was actually an old train station from the 1900’s. It had cream marble walls that looked like they had gold running through them, high arched ceilings that had beautiful architectural detail between each beam, and pillars with dark green tile and gold leafing. The most mesmerizing part though, was the huge glass window at the end of the station, with an old clock proudly displayed right in the centre. Alice and Jasper were actually going to have their head table and dance floor right at the back of the hall, under the window and clock so that everyone could see the night sky. And with the hundreds of small lights in the arches of the ceiling, it would look like everyone was dancing directly under the stars.
I walked out of the hall, feeling overwhelmed and sadly jealous, and slowly made my way to the reception desk. Leah was our main contact at the hall, and although she was kinda crass and for some reason seemed to resent planning weddings, she was incredibly determined and always gave us everything we needed right away without any issues or complaints.
“Bella, what are you doing here? I wasn’t expecting anyone until 12:30.” I automatically lowered my head as Leah walked towards me. Even with an innocent and justifiable question like that, her tone made it clear that she was annoyed with the unexpected interruption in her day.
“Sorry Leah, I know that I’m early, but there were just a couple of things that Alice mentioned to me last night that she wanted me to check out. Knowing how busy today is going to be, I thought I’d check them out before she got here.” I said more to the floor than to Leah.
“No problem, what is it you need?” Leah asked, as she led us both into the hall. We quickly went over some changes, including adding two vegetarian meals for last minute guests, changing where the DJ booth would be, lessening the numbers of chairs per row for the ceremony at the entrance to the hall so that the aisle was wider, and seeing if we could get a longer table for where the wedding party during the reception. Alice wanted more flowers everywhere, including the head table and she didn’t think there would be enough room with the 8ft one she had planned to use. After those issues, and few more, got sorted out with Leah, she left me to scout the room so I could address some of the issues that didn’t need her help. I was in the middle of checking to see if there was a plug in the wall near where the head table would be, since Alice wanted to add lights to the backdrop that would be there, when I heard a high pitched screeching sound, one that I would know anywhere.
“BELLA!!!” Alice shouted as her 4’10” frame came running towards me with her arms open wide. Her white strapless dress, with large bright pink, blue and green flowers, was floating behind her as she sprinted forward in three inch pink heels, leaving Jasper and his parents at the entrance, shaking their heads. After 9 years of being best friends, why that woman got so excited to see me, I’ll never know. Alice and I wrapped our arms around each other for a couple of seconds before she pulled back to examine what I was wearing.
“You look really pretty Bella, but flip flops?! This is my wedding rehearsal. You couldn’t have worn some nice strappy heels?” She whined as she scrunched up her nose and started to walk back to Jasper, clasping his hand and bringing him further into the hall.
“They’re kitten heels, Ali, and you know that I would never have been able to last all day in strappy heels. Would you rather these small heels or bare feet?” I asked her sarcastically, already knowing her answer. Jasper and his parents chuckled beside me as Alice narrowed her eyes at me but kept her mouth shut.
“So how long have you been here? I thought that we would have been the first ones here since its only 11:45. I wanted to talk to Leah about those changes we were talking about last night.” Alice said, remarkably, all in one breath.
“Already done. The two veggie meals have been ordered, the DJ booth can only be moved back 4 feet but I think it’ll work, widening the aisle is no problem and the 12ft head table is a go. I was just checking for a plug for the lights on the backdrop and it looks like we’ll need an extension cord. We can run it along the wall behind the MC’s podium which, yes, can be covered and we can put flowers around the base. ” I told Alice as I mentally checked off my ‘to do’ list.
A sad smile slowly lit up Alice’s face at the fact that I came in early to take care of everything. And I knew exactly what that smile meant; she was happy that I took care of it all for her, but sad that I had to do it all by myself so early on a Saturday morning. Little did Alice know, I had nothing else to do, nor anyone else to see or talk to because there was no one or nothing else in my life to occupy my time, so coming in early was just putting off my typical lonely Saturday morning.
Alice once again threw her tiny arms around me in a tight hug. “Thank you”, she whispered into my ear before kissing my right cheek and releasing me to go back to Jasper. He just looked at me and gave me a slightly sad smile. He was so perceptive that I’m sure he knew why I was really here early. Jasper was a psychotherapist at Seattle Children’s Hospital and a couple of years ago, he came to me and asked if I needed to talk. Apparently, he noticed that I was smiling less and that I wasn’t going out as much anymore. He was amazing at his job, helping children recover after going through traumatic events, but it seemed that his power of observation was better than I expected. I returned his slight smile and went to give him a hug.
“Hey Jasper, how’s it going?”
“Oh you know, as good as can be expected following this energy ball around all morning” he chuckled while pulling Alice even closer. She pushed him away, making us laugh louder and then she proceeded to walk deeper into the hall. Jasper, his parents and I followed behind her and finished off the ‘to do’ list before the rest of the party arrived.
Almost an hour later, a booming laugh notified us that Alice’s twin brother, although you would never know by looking at them, and Jasper’s best man, Emmett, had arrived. We all turned around to see the 6’5 tower of muscles walk through the front door, followed by Rosalie, his gorgeous, blond bombshell of a girlfriend, and Emmett and Alice’s parents.
The 9 of us, of course I’m the odd one out, proceeded to the entrance of the hall where the ceremony would be taking place. While Alice and Rose were talking about the last minute details that Alice had added to her self-designed wedding dress, Jasper talked to the parents about all the last minute changes that would be taking place. That left me and Emmett.
“How you been kiddo?” he asked as he flung his huge left arm over my shoulder. Emmett, Alice and I hung out a lot in college; we used to do almost everything together. Then he found his girlfriend, Rose, who immediately took up most of his time and mind. They fell in love instantly. And although I would still see Em when we all hung out together, it was rare that it was just us two without his twin or Rose around.
“I’m okay Em, how have you and Rosalie been?” I knew how they were, Alice called me up the second Em proposed to Rose and had already showed me pictures of their new house.
“We’re great actually. I don’t know if Ali told you, but we bought a house last month and are moving at the end of August, and well, we’re engaged.” Reminder number 893 that I’m alone.
“Yea, Alice told me. Congratulations Emmett, I’m so happy for you guys. You’ve been together for what, 42 years now? It’s about time you put a ring on her finger”, I joked with him to hide my tears. He pulled me into a tight side hug as we finally reached where the justice of the peace was standing waiting for us. Em gave me a quick kiss on the top of the head, whispering, “It’s only been 7 years, but thanks” before letter me go to stand beside where his mother was waiting so that we could start the rehearsal.
The parents, Alice, Emmett and I stood at the back of the imaginary aisle while Rose sat in the front row, taking pictures and just overseeing everything while Jasper waited up with William, the justice of the peace. The typical fanfare commenced with Jasper’s parents walking down the aisle, then Emmett walked his mom down the aisle and then proceeded to stand beside Jasper, then it was my turn. Of course William told me to walk slower, that this was my moment and I should savor it. How can I have a “moment” when I don’t want to be the centre of attention at all? I guess he was right though, I did walk rather fast down the aisle, even tripping over my own feet a couple of times.
We all turned around to watch Alice walking down the aisle, holding a fake bouquet of fabric swatches in one hand and her daddy’s arm in the other. And even though it was just the rehearsal, Alice started to tear up as she walked down the aisle and saw Jasper waiting for her at the end. I turned my head to look away when I saw how they looked at each other. Even Emmett was smiling like an idiot at how happy they were. He glanced at Rosalie, gave her a wink and then turned back to the front to focus on the rest of the rehearsal. I was completely surrounded by love. I felt completely out of place and like I was intruding.
We ran through the entire ceremony beginning to end two more times before William declared that everything was perfect and that he was really excited for the big day. By the time we were all done in the hall, it was 3:14pm and we still had a couple of hours before our rehearsal dinner at a restaurant down the street. Alice has insisted that we do one last fitting in the spare time. All the women, minus Rosalie, who could probably drink all the guys under the table and was perfectly comfortable in a sports bar with them, packed into Alice’s little yellow Mini Cooper and drove off to her and Jaspers townhouse on the other end of town.
Alice had designed and created both her wedding dress and my matching maid-of-honor dress, and had already subjected me to four fittings in the past two months. To me, everything looked and fit perfectly but Alice was the designer, and the bride, so Alice got what Alice wanted. After she insisted that I go first, I walked into Alice and Jasper’s guest room to find my dress already hanging on the closet door with the matching death trap shoes sitting neatly on the floor below. With a roll of my eye, I removed the dress from the garment bag and slid it on. It truly was a beautiful dress, and fit me perfectly. It was a two-tiered bottom, knee length, deep plum color halter dress with accordion pleats throughout the entire dress and an empire waist that had a band of flattened pleats going horizontally under the bust line.
After carefully placing my feet in the shoes that were sure to kill me after two minutes of simply standing still, I opened the door and walked back into the living room where the girls were waiting. Neither of the mothers had seen the dress before, and I was welcomed with enthusiastic “OOOOHHHH’s” and animated praises about Alice’s design. I walked up to Alice where she preceded to give me ‘the eyes’. It was the look that told me that I should know better and she would wait until I complied with her request. So with another roll of my eyes, I did the mandatory twirl that Alice insisted I do every time I wore the dress to show how the skirt flared out.
Alice walked up behind me, did her ‘fitting thing’, pinching hems and pulling straps to make sure everything was sitting perfectly, and then dismissed me back to the guest room to change, stating that everything fit like a glove and no further alterations were needed. With a sigh of relief, I quickly took off my shoes and walked back to the room to change. By the time I hung the dress back up in the garment bag, got back into my black dress and walked out to the living room, Alice was standing there in her wedding dress with her jewelry and shoes on.
She looked beautiful and her design was perfect. We couldn’t have found a better dress for her if we looked for ten years in every country of the world. It was a wide V-neck dress with a lace empire waist and long accordion pleats over the entire dress, although you couldn’t really tell the top was pleated because they were pressed so flat. The dress molded to her curves at the top and simply flowed off her body to the floor. Her shoes were white high heels, making her height a grand total of 5’1”, and they had silver accents down the front that matched the antique crystal necklace that every woman in her mother’s family has worn for the past four generations. The necklace was probably worth more than my house. It was an older style “Y” necklace that had two medium size rectangular crystals surrounded by what looked like white gold netting, meeting in the middle where there was a larger crystal, about the size of my thumb up to my first knuckle, which was also encased in white gold netting. It was immaculate and fit perfectly with the romantic feeling of the dress.
Both mothers had tears in their eyes when Alice, herself, did the customary twirl, flaring her skirt out then hopping up and down and clapping her hands together when she finally decided that everything was perfect.
“Well dear, I hate to disagree, but it’s almost perfect. There’s just one thing missing.” Mrs. Whitlock commented, sharing a sly look with Mrs. Brandon who nodded along with the comment. Alice’s face dropped as if someone told her that chartreuse was the new black. She immediately looked at the mothers with a terrified look on her face and proceeded to twist and turn in the floor length closet mirror to see what they were talking about.
Mrs. Whitlock walked up behind Alice, locked eyes with her in the mirror and pulled a tiny box out of her purse and held it out in front of Alice. Alice quickly spun around to face her future mother-in-law and then looked down at the plain black box. She carefully took it from Mrs. Whitlock’s hand, looking up to me and her mom and then staring Mrs. Whitlock in the eyes.
“It’s something I’ve been holding onto for a long time, hoping this day would come. It’s been passed down from my grandmother, to my mother, to me, and after talking to your mother, I think that it would work beautifully with your dress.” Alice lowered her eyes and slowly lifted the lid off the box, revealing an antique white gold and diamond brooch which, by some miracle, was the same shape as the crystals in her necklace, proving once again how much these two families were meant to be joined together.
Alice gasped at the sight of the brooch as her left hand went up to cover her mouth. A single tear slid down her cheek as she removed the brooch from its cushioned box.
“It’s so beautiful” Alice whispered while she softly fingered the stones.
“I may have mentioned to Gale that you were thinking about adding some detail to the centre of the lace, right at the bottom of the bust, and she said that she had the perfect idea.” Mrs. Brandon said as she moved over Alice’s shoulder to get a better look. “It really is a beautiful piece, Gale.”
“So what do you think Alice? Do you think it will work?” Mrs. Whitlock, or Gale, according to Mrs. Brandon, asked as she turned Alice back around to face the mirror and held the brooch in place.
“It’s perfect. Thank you so much.” Alice wiped another errand tear away from her cheek as she carefully unclasped the brooch and slid the pin into the lace material under her bust line. “You’re right, now the dress is perfect.”
I stood back and watched the entire event take place, shedding a tear or two myself at the intimacy of this shared family moment. There was never a doubt that Alice was meant to join the Whitlock family, but it was really nice to see how open and welcoming the Whitlock’s were to my quirky best friend.
After all our sniffles had stopped and our tears were dried, Alice went back to change into her rehearsal dress so that we could go to the restaurant for her dinner. There were squeals of excitement and constant chatter as we all piled back into Alice’s car and she drove us straight to CRUSH, a beautiful restaurant not too far from the hall, which specializes in local, organic Northwestern cuisine. Our reservation wasn’t until 5:30 but we pulled up to the restaurant at 4:47 and decided to simply sit at the bar until the boys, and Rose, showed up.
“I’ll have a glass of your house white, please” Alice said to the bartender, Eric, as soon as he came over to our group. “Oh, that sounds lovely, I’ll take a glass also,” Gale added. It ended up being three glasses of white wine when Eric made his way in front of my stool. “Would you like wine as well?” he asked, giving me a kind smile. “Um…” I started. I hated wine and wasn’t really a drinker to begin with, but this was Alice’s wedding rehearsal and I felt like I needed to celebrate with the rest of the women. “I’ll just get a vodka cranberry with some Sprite, please.”
“Breaking out the hard liquor, Bella? Nice!” Alice giggled with a quirked eyebrow. I blushed my typical pink before I answered. “You know I don’t really drink wine, and with the cranberry and Sprite, you can’t really taste the alcohol.” I really felt like I was defending myself. I also kinda felt guilty that I was the only “lady” not drinking classy wine.
“I know, Bella,” Alice chuckled, “I was just kidding. I know how you love that stuff.”
Eric came and deposited all of our drinks on tiny white bar napkins. The mothers and Alice all got their wine in these beautifully delicate wine goblets, which I would have loved to purchase myself if I, in fact, drank wine, while my drink came in a thick, masculine tumbler. I examined the differences as Alice and the mothers spoke excitedly about how well the rehearsal went and about the upcoming honeymoon they were taking up the West Coast into Canada.
I sat beside Alice, while she was turned, facing the mothers, carrying on their conversation. I looked down at each woman: first Alice sitting right beside me, daintily holding her wine glass with her beautifully eccentric dress floating down her legs, then to Mrs. Brandon, who had her hands properly crossed over her properly crossed legs, which were poking out of a bright blue wrap dress that had a high neck and ruffles along the outside, and finally to Gale, who had pulled out her stool and was sitting away from the bar and beside Mrs. Brandon, balancing her wine glass on her slim thighs which were covered in crisp, white, pressed trousers paired with a deep purple, blouse that tied at the neckline. All three women looked classy and elegant, in their bright summer colors, gracefully sipping on their wine, while I sat behind Alice, ignored by the conversation, wearing a boring, old black dress and drinking out of my man glass.
I loved Alice, but sometimes, I just felt like I didn’t belong in her world. Both her parents were successful and owned their own steel company, and although they weren’t multi millionaires, they were quite well off. Whereas my father was a police chief of a small rundown town and my mother…well my mother did many things, none of them long term and none of them particularly well. And while Alice got her College paid for by her parents, and got a bright, new yellow Mini from them as a graduation present, I had to beg and plead for scholarships and bursaries as well as work part-time while in school and I still drove my beat-up old pick up from high school. On top of that, I now had to teach summer school, while all the other teachers were off on vacation. It was hard to live on a single person income, so I would teach, make the money I needed, live from paycheck to paycheck, hoping that my checks wouldn’t bounce and that I could afford groceries that week.
I knew that I was being petty, and that I was fortunate to have an amazing job, loving friends and a place to call my own, but sometime, I just wished that things were different and easier, that I could be happy. I felt like I was just going through the motions of life, not really living, not feeling happy, always the odd one out and most of the time looked over by others. I truly felt alone, and the prospect of spending the rest of my life this way terrified me.
“So how is summer school going, Bella?” Mrs. Brandon asked, bringing me out of my inner ramblings and self loathing.
“Um…” I started, as I shook my head clear and focused on the women looking at me, “really well actually. I’m teaching an enrichment class this summer, so I get to work with students who are incredibly passionate and dedicated to writing and literature, instead of last year where I had to re-teach the students who didn’t do too well in class.”
“Well that sounds exciting,” Gale chimed in, “so what kinds of things are you doing with them?”
“The course is actually focused on writing, detail orientation and imagination, so we’re looking at different stories, and taking them to the next level. I only get to see the kids three days a week, so right now the students are expanding upon a story that they already read, but the challenge is to see if they can keep the same personality and characteristics of the main characters in their story from the original book. It’s all about how well they encompass the characters true personality and if the characters in the original story would actually do what the new story suggests. They really need to know the characters identity, forward and backward, so it’s really challenging for them. ”
“So they have to write a completely new and different story but with the same characters?” Mrs. Brandon asked.
“It’s really up to the students. They can write a piece that is set before the actual story, or after the actual story, they can change an event in the story to take it in a different direction or they can keep the characters and write a completely new story. The only restriction is the characters must be the same in personality, action and behavior and they must complete their new story in 5 chapters.”
“That’s so cool, Bella,” Alice gushed. “Do the students get to pick the story or are there limited stories for them to choose from? I mean, how are you going to know if they keep the characters the same if you haven’t read and studied the stories that they’re writing about?”
“There is a list of stories for them to choose from, but their marks and feedback aren’t just based on my limited opinion. They actually have to post their stories online in a forum each Monday and have to bring in the reader’s comments for the previous chapter each Tuesday. It’s kinda risky though. People might not like the story line, so they may make negative comments, even though the students challenge is about characterization, the readers in the forums will know the stories the best so I want to know the opinions of the ‘true’ fans of those stories.”
Mrs. Brandon and Gale shared a confused look and then quirked an eyebrow at me. “Online forums? You mean like chat rooms?” Mrs. Brandon asked.
“Sort of. It’s more like fan fiction though. Sites specifically created for fans of stories to share their own work, whether written stories, poetry or art work. The students will share their work with the community and I’ll read the comments to see how the community is viewing their work.”
All three women nodded at me with impressed looks on their faces. “That sounds really interesting and different, Bella. It should be a lot of fun for them.” Gale commented with an almost bewildered look on her face, as if she was surprised that I was that creative with my students.
“Who’s having fun?” Emmett’s booming voice rang. “’Cause I’m in!”
All the men walked over to their women and gave them loving hugs and tender kisses. I, of course, sat back and watched this loving display with an aching heart.
“Bella was just telling us about a project she’s giving her students.” Alice commented. “It sounds like it’ll be really fun for them. I’m kinda jealous. I wish we would have had projects like that when we were in school.” She looked at me and smiled, showing how proud of me she was for being so creative and passionate about my work.
“Well now that I’m here,” Emmett continued, “no more shop talk. You ladies need to catch up. We were doing shots at the bar.” Rose just rolled her eyes at him as the hostess came and ushered us to our table in the back.
The dinner was actually pretty harmless. The back room was beautiful and private, there were lots of laughs, thanks to Emmett and the food was amazing. I had an apple salad with Roquefort and bacon to start with, and the roasted chicken, cheddar potato, with smoked chanterelles and bacon for dinner. It was so much food that I only ate the salad and the chicken and gave the rest to Emmett. I swear, you’d think after his huge appetizer and a stack of short ribs, the man would be full.
After all the plates were cleared, the bottles of wine (6 in all) were polished off and the bills were all generously taken care of by the parents of the groom, everyone was off in their separate directions for the evening. Alice and Jasper dropped me back off at the hall so that I could pick up my truck before they headed home.
“Thanks for everything today, Bella.” Alice said as she walked me to my truck and gave me a tight hug. “I would never have been able to do any of this without you.”
“Sure you would have.” I insisted. “It would have taken a bit longer and Leah would have probably thrown her note book at you, but it would have gotten done.”
“No, I’m serious. I couldn’t have done this without you. You have helped me so much and spent so much time making sure that everything is taken care of. I don’t know how you found the time when you teach 3 days a week, but thank you.”
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